I Hope I Challenge Me

Today I went to a meeting at the library. It was really weird. Out of about fifteen people, I was the only person there under the age of 20. I met some nice people, and learned a lot about how the library works and where it is going, but I was by far the dumbest person there. I did contribute a little, though. My discussion group was on "Diversity" (yes, I volunteered for that group, don't kill me) and I did help somewhat with brainstorming how to integrate that into the county's library system. The biggest thing I got from this meeting was how much the staff loves the library as much as the patrons. They truly are happy to be working there and enthusiastic about making it a better place. I did get a little choked up when I realized that that could be me...and I'm not taking it. I know that God's plan is the right plan, and that's what I really want, but I've never felt so inspired to WORK HARD as the times when I see what librarians can do and get to do. I feel a little like I'm missing out. But not enough to pursue that when I know I won't have time for a career and still be dedicated to my future family. Not a lot of careerist homeschool moms out there.

My birthday is coming up. I think I'm going to just have us go bowling; does that sound okay to you? This will be my last birthday party, in fact I feel too old for it now. But I might as well have one for my eighteenth and then be done with that. :)

Tomorrow is dinner at the Parks house. A few months ago, this would've brought a huge smile to my face and lots of ideas of what Michelle and I can do while I'm there to have crazy fun and maybe finagle a sleepover afterwards. ^^ But now it's different somehow...I don't know that either of us have changed all that much, but--well I take that back. One of us or both must've changed somehow for me to feel like our friendship is different. Maybe it's a part of growing up; Michelle is still very much a teenager and living life in the moment. I do that too, but I think that parts of me are starting to become the person I will be for my whole life. In a week I'll be legally an adult. Isn't it time I start thinking like one?

I got The Two Towers soundtrack from the library today. It's immense. The quality of the disk is crap, though (of course it is, it's from the public library), so it's hard to get into the more emotional parts when you have a "tch tch tch" going in the background constantly. -_- Speaking of Middle-Earth, I started The Silmarillion today. It's from the First Age, which is thousands of years before the Third Age, in which the Lord of the Rings takes place. So far it's interesting; I think I just love having a book to hold and call my own.

The other day, when I went to my bookshelf to get it (Silmarillion), I saw in front of my books someone had put a picture frame. Not really a big thing, it was probably in the way somewhere and got stashed the first place seen. But in the picture frame was a photo of Noah. Even after three months of being resigned to having lost these friends of mine, it broke open anew. I wept for Noah, I wept for Melinda. When will I be able to get past this, if even now it draws tears? I can sort of see how people get loathe to make new friendships or become close to someone, when having them ripped away from you is one of the most painful experiences I can even think of.

I can see my bedroom floor. That is a big deal if you know my room. o.O

Today I finally got back into my library work. They put me on light duty because Kathy, the volunteer coordinator, is super afraid of me breaking my stitches. So I sat and stamped WITHDRAWN on books for two hours. Nothing special in that, but I got to meet a lady named Jeanne (pronounced Jeanie). I almost got to share the gospel with her. We started talking about church, since I mentioned that I go. I asked if she goes to church, and she said no. I asked if she believes in God, and she said yes. Seemed like an open door, right? Well, as soon as I decided to take the conversation beyond that, she sort of--politely--shut it down with a "yeah" and bent closely over her work. :( She was really nice, though, and I was glad to have met her. Maybe someday I'll be able to seriously talk to her about God.

Kathy (aforementioned coordinator) has invited me to be in a meeting which will help give directional ideas to the whole county's library programs! She looked at the types of demographics they want, and noticed homeschooler on the list. So now I get to go to a meeting and discuss what the future of the library should be in our area! Who knows how much I'll be able to contribute, but it's exciting nonetheless. And she told me that it can go on my resume. X)

Only one more LotR installment, and then we're done. I'm quite prepared to keep a box of Kleenex nearby for the more emotional moments. Both :'( and :'). RotK was the first movie that made me :'). I wonder if the other three watching with me will get teary....

I'm reading The Pilgrim's Progress. What a wonderful book! The theology is much deeper than I imagined it to be. And even though it was written hundreds of years ago, the parallels to the Christian life is absolutely relevant and precise.

In my entire brain, there are probably millions of thoughts bumping around. The hard part is deciding which ones to pull out and analyze for all to see...maybe I'll pull a Jeff and be secretive whilst telling people I'm being secretive. ;)

Next Movie to See

I know everyone has seen these, but JUST IN CASE...
Watch The Lord of the Rings. They are quite possibly the masterworks of film creations. Of course, due to their length, you'll want to make time and plan ahead. Don't just cut it off in the middle, it totally ruins it (unless you've already seen them, and in that case, why are you reading this?)
I don't even need to describe them here. You just watch/rent/BUY them. You'll thank me later.