"It's my-ee aighteenth birthday-ee tuhday-ee!"

Although I hate that character (and was sort of glad when she died...I'm a spiteful creature!), I've been saying that line all day and will continue to chant it till tomorrow! :D

Which means that today is my eighteenth birthday! Daddy took me out to breakfast eeearrly (I got up at 5:15 and we got to the restaurant at 6:00), where we had a very nice talk. He gave me a gift card to Barnes & Noble, which OF COURSE I was very excited about! It was Cindy's day off, though, so I didn't get free fruit or anything. :( When I got home, Mom gave me some num-nums and tasty juice! Grandma gave me a sweater that is pretty much the softest thing ever. I love my family so very very much (this is not because they give me stuff on my birthday).

I complained, both to others and myself, yesterday about how I really thin that eighteen is too old for me. Not that I am not ready to face up to life (okay, well maybe I'm not, but I'm getting there), but I really ought to be considered as an adult now. Yet, I know I will not be unless I act and think like one. Do I want to? I believe that I do. It's just a slightly difficult transition for me.

I have library work today, and Megan's picking me up afterwards. We, along with Mishmash and Danna, are going to have a really weird slumber party that I am quite positive will result in extreme sleepiness the next day at Courtney's concert. 240 milligrams of caffeine is something that I am quite interested to learn the effects of.

Speaking of concerts, did I tell you guys yet about that concert coming up? On March 22, Jeremy Camp, MercyMe, Hawk Nelson, and Tenth Avenue North are coming here. Best part is, there's no advance purchases of tickets. Just show up at the door and give them $10! I really want to go, and I think that if we get together a big enough group, it could happen...yes it's on a Wednesday, but I never ever miss Wednesday nights. I think that I can be absent just once.

Danna told me on Wednesday that I am very open on my blog. Funny, I always thought that I was rather reserved to what I'm really feeling...I think that certain blogs, which write mostly in secretive allegories, can be more enlightening into the inner thoughts than mine. This is because if you know what you're looking for, it's not that hard to decipher what someone really means by supposed random type.

I met Coralynn yesterday! I have to admit, all the crazy cooing that Michelle and Marinda have been doing over that kid is not over-the-top at all. She's so adorable! Her eyes are enormous, and she's super chubby. Chubby babies are fun to poke. I was quite entertained yesterday by staring her down intensely; I think I either intrigued or disturbed her. Or even better, both! >:)

Which is worse: to be absolutely sure of something, but change your mind several times, or to admit that you really don't know for sure what you think yet--and keep people in the dark as to what you really feel?

My hair is getting really long. Meh, I'm too lazy to go get it cut hehe.

The past few days have not been stellar. Well, there have been bright spots, but overall I feel like there hasn't been too much yay going on.

I spent my Saturday lounging about and doing a small amount of shopping until 5:30, when we had dinner with the Parks. That was nice, until Jordan and Michelle got into drilling me with questions and giving "advice." The advice they gave soon turned into code talk between them about something or other that has to do with me, but I can't know about it. Ugh. I spent the next 24 hours trying to understand what they were hinting about, to no avail. I'm not even going to think about it anymore.

Megan ditched the first couple hours of Potts Night for a Superbowl party, but I can't hold that against her. We held our own quite well without her there, as a matter of fact; Jeff's debate topic really got me thinking. It's rather shocking to myself when I realize that something I thought I had analyzed thoroughly turns out to be (most likely) a preconceived idea that really doesn't have a lot of solid, Biblical basis. I'm not sure if the discussion is put off for a further time or if I need to wave the white flag right now...we shall see.

Today was a jumble of Emily being a brat, Mom being a whiner, and Lily being incomprehensible. That makes a very nasty tasting stew! Oh well, we're not arguing now, so that's something.

This Friday, Megsie is hopefully going to spend the night here, but the next day is still hazy. I was planning on having a bowling party, then going to my house for pizza and stuff...but I really don't know. Courtney has a concert that day, and I really want to be there to vote for her and stuff. That is at one o'clock, and I don't know how long it goes to. There's a bowling alley really close to that, but I checked the prices (it would be cosmic bowling at that time), and it costs quite a lot. Ridiculous really. -_-

When I get a thought in my head, saying "Why can't they just leave me alone?" Is that wrong?

I Hope I Challenge Me

Today I went to a meeting at the library. It was really weird. Out of about fifteen people, I was the only person there under the age of 20. I met some nice people, and learned a lot about how the library works and where it is going, but I was by far the dumbest person there. I did contribute a little, though. My discussion group was on "Diversity" (yes, I volunteered for that group, don't kill me) and I did help somewhat with brainstorming how to integrate that into the county's library system. The biggest thing I got from this meeting was how much the staff loves the library as much as the patrons. They truly are happy to be working there and enthusiastic about making it a better place. I did get a little choked up when I realized that that could be me...and I'm not taking it. I know that God's plan is the right plan, and that's what I really want, but I've never felt so inspired to WORK HARD as the times when I see what librarians can do and get to do. I feel a little like I'm missing out. But not enough to pursue that when I know I won't have time for a career and still be dedicated to my future family. Not a lot of careerist homeschool moms out there.

My birthday is coming up. I think I'm going to just have us go bowling; does that sound okay to you? This will be my last birthday party, in fact I feel too old for it now. But I might as well have one for my eighteenth and then be done with that. :)

Tomorrow is dinner at the Parks house. A few months ago, this would've brought a huge smile to my face and lots of ideas of what Michelle and I can do while I'm there to have crazy fun and maybe finagle a sleepover afterwards. ^^ But now it's different somehow...I don't know that either of us have changed all that much, but--well I take that back. One of us or both must've changed somehow for me to feel like our friendship is different. Maybe it's a part of growing up; Michelle is still very much a teenager and living life in the moment. I do that too, but I think that parts of me are starting to become the person I will be for my whole life. In a week I'll be legally an adult. Isn't it time I start thinking like one?

I got The Two Towers soundtrack from the library today. It's immense. The quality of the disk is crap, though (of course it is, it's from the public library), so it's hard to get into the more emotional parts when you have a "tch tch tch" going in the background constantly. -_- Speaking of Middle-Earth, I started The Silmarillion today. It's from the First Age, which is thousands of years before the Third Age, in which the Lord of the Rings takes place. So far it's interesting; I think I just love having a book to hold and call my own.

The other day, when I went to my bookshelf to get it (Silmarillion), I saw in front of my books someone had put a picture frame. Not really a big thing, it was probably in the way somewhere and got stashed the first place seen. But in the picture frame was a photo of Noah. Even after three months of being resigned to having lost these friends of mine, it broke open anew. I wept for Noah, I wept for Melinda. When will I be able to get past this, if even now it draws tears? I can sort of see how people get loathe to make new friendships or become close to someone, when having them ripped away from you is one of the most painful experiences I can even think of.

I can see my bedroom floor. That is a big deal if you know my room. o.O

My Goals for the next Decade.

Okay, here they are:

1 year:
have my driver's permit.
be an expert on something.
be nice to Lily.
get in shape.
be a good cook.

5 years:
work with books.
have a driver's license.
go on a road trip.
be a bridesmaid.

10 years:
married with kids.
maybe doing some writing.
have something published.
have an active ministry in my church.

Campout 2008

Learning about the glories of heaven.
Drawing close to God.
Drawing close to God's people, my real family.
Lying on the docks, having good conversations.
Eating marshalades and throwing them.
Seeing the Predmores.
Singing to the Lord in the kitchen.
Calling Melinda all kinds of weird names.
Hiking up an easy hike...that practically killed me.
Boating across the lake with amazingly cool people.
Eating my mom's world-famous food.
Helping my mom cook that world-famous food.
Playing "Down by the Banks" and not feeling stupid about it.
Being silly.
Being serious.
Looking at my future with fear and happiness.
Seeing Vengeance Creek.
Trying ping pong and not caring that I FAILED.
Watching a new sport be invented (Ultimate Ping Pong!!!)
Hugging people.
Learning to trust God more than ever.
Watching four precious saints be baptized in the lake.
Crying for joy with them.
Remembering and missing Grandpa Bob.
Laughing at the cheesy and marvelous slideshow.
Counting the times people said, "It's cold out here."
Wearing the dorky life jackets.
Being honest with people who care about me.
Learning new things about myself.
Wondering about other people.
Loving and being loved.

My heart is full and yearns for heaven. But while I'm here, it soars to be with the church family that I love more than words can say. ♥

Campout tomorrow!!!

Yes I'm excited. Could you tell??? ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺Today was a MAD scramble to finish shopping for campout food. We loaded up three carts FULL at the grocery store. Then we stuffed it all in our little Civic. Then we unloaded it all at home. Then we loaded it all into Uncle Don's truck. Then we drove to the church and unloaded it there. And TOMORROW we load it up again and drive it up to Clearlake. Whew! But I'm still smiling! 8D
So I thought your Jeff's friend Ben was going to come on Wednesday to church too? But I suppose I misheard. Too bad, he was a really funny fellow.
I watched a movie today called Funny Girl. It's a musical with Barbra Streisand and Omar Sharif. Really good stuff. I know Streisand is kind of a nasty old weirdo in real life, but she's a really good actress. And outstanding singer. She and Dianne Weist are probably my favorite actresses. (Dianne Weist was the Avon lady in Edward Scissorhands and the evil queen in The 10th Kingdom.)
I finished packing today; it's amazing how much stuff I feel like I have to bring to a four-day trip! And I even tried to pack light this time! But what can I say: girls will be girls.
Since I'm going into my senior year of high school, it seems like everybody everybody EVERYBODY is asking me what my plans for the future are. Ugh, I don't like being reminded! How am I supposed to decide what I want as a "career" or whatever, when my ultimate goal is to get married and have kids, just like God designed. But I don't even know if I'll get that far. I mean, of course I want that; every girl I know wants that. But I just don't know if it could work. It's a little weird for me.
So I guess I should start thinking about my future on a practical level. College and work and all that lovely stuff. XP Not so lovely when I start thinking seriously about it. What's my problem? Megan wants to be a dental hygienist, Danna wants to be a nurse, Robyn's a hairstylist, Marinda wants to go into landscaping, and me? I'm completely aimless!!! Well, working with books has always sounded promising. If I could find an interesting line of work there. But it's scary to me to do anything important or to make any important decisions. I need discipline, that's what I need.

I'll think about it again after this marvelous weekend. See y'alls (or most of y'alls) tomorrow!☺☺☺☺☺☺

Next day!

So I hardly ever post the day after my last post. It usually seems like a waste. But here I am anyways.

So last night's dinner with Maribel went pretty well! Between Mommy and Daddy, I think she really got the gospel. I don't think she was really ready to accept it and let it penetrate, but she said she'd read the Bible verses my mom gave her as they left. But what a sweet family they are! Her mom doesn't speak any English, but her sweetness and motherly kindness showed in her face. She said to my dad a few times (translated by Maribel) that he has a very beautiful family. :) That was nice of her. Maribel also has a son named Kevin. He's eight and pretty sharp! He holds his own in a conversation pretty well (although he frequently inserts comments about Legos and Spongebob).

But guess what: Maribel thought I was 13. You all know how much that kind of thing bothers me. But hey; I've decided to not let that bug me so much. What I need to realize is this: whenever I hate the way I look, obsess over looking older, or compare myself to pretty girls, I'm basically pointing my finger at God and saying, "You didn't make me right! Why can't I be beautiful?" That is just pure sin and selfishness. So call me on it if I ever complain about that again.

I saw Megan's freshly painted room today. Very cool! It's chocolately brown and stuff. So Michelle and I chilled over there all day. We went to Macy's and guess what: Tyler was working! So we talked to him for a little on his break. I also tried a new eyeshadow at the makeup counters (yes boring to hear about). But it was really really REALLY bright blue. Kind of cool and weird.

So then the Nodurfts picked me up back at Megan's house and drove me to my house; they were coming out here anyways to have dinner with us. Daddy grilled steak. Nicey-nice! (I think people think I'm a total dork when I say that, but whatever)

And now the Nodurfts have gone home and I'm posting here at 10:45 posting. Anything else I need to talk about...hmmmm...don't think so. I think tomorrow will be uneventful. Oh, I almost forgot! I checked the bowling alley fees and there's a discount if we go between 3:00-6:00 on a weekday. So I'm thinking Monday or Tuesday? Gimme feedback.

I think I use a lot of run-on sentences and fragments in my blog posts. Never was a grammar fiend. :P

Doing Things

Yesterday I went on a hike with friends. That was actually surprisingly fun...since I am NOT a hiker in any sense of the word. I only had to stop and collapse on the ground, gasping pathetically, one time! And I only blacked out once too. hehe. Afterwards we went to a waterfall that Pres hadn't seen. That was booooring because it's just a waterfall, but then it got fun. Megan, Michelle, and I jumped in the back of Jeff's truck; we thought he might drive like a 40 feet and we'd jump out. But we all went for a little ride down the road. It was actually really relaxing to feel the breeze. Except for when I kept SLAMMING back into Megan when Jeff SLAMMED on the accelerator. Geez.
So then I went to Michelly's for a sleepover (surprise surprise). I prob won't go again soon because I think I'm becoming a nuisance to Mr. Parks. I have been over probably three or four times in the past two weeks. But the interesting part was that Lily decided to sleep over too! And she was cool. Greg, Ben, and Tara came over for the evening. We played Settlers of Catan and an interesting version of charades.
I finally got Muriel's story proofed and typed. So there's on thing off my back. But now I have another thing to replace it! (albeit a little prob) I left my camera at Michelle's house, so now I can't upload the pics from yesterday immediately. That seriously bugs me. I wanted to email everybody the bestest ones and give Uncle Don some nice group photos.
I am depressed about the way I look again. I have had sooooooo many people tell me I look 15. I seriously is bothering me. First Mrs. Potts said it. Then Michelle said it. Then Jordan said it. Then Mr. Parks said it. Then one of Jordan's friends--who I don't even know; I met him ONCE--said it!!! Makes me want to hide in a corner like the little girl everyone seems to think I am. Forgive my self-absorption; it's just that this is my biggest pet peeve these days.
Have you guys ever been to www.totallylookslike.com? Check it out; it's pretty funny.

Psalm 33. It's beautiful.