Trapezii. I feelz dem.

I haven't been on a computer in two days, and I didn't miss it at all! Yesterday morning we went over to the Sires/Naish house and did some moooooving! I actually really enjoyed it, my muscles are pretty sore (in the good way). After a beautiful day, we left mid-afternoon to get me to the library. I shelved for two hours , then went back to Jeff's house for some more moving! Then I went to Meymey's house for a sleepover. Well, actually we went to the Potts house till like 1:30 or so. Elder Dave helped Mike with their bathroom while we sat around (except for the bathroom run/Doritos coveting trip to Fred Meyer).

Next day, we started out at Permapost wheeeee. Not all that exciting, but I learned that dancing with a vacuum can be rather fun when one puts in their earphones. :P We then went over to Jeff's again, which is pretty much where we spent the rest of the day. Megan, Janelle, and I packed up the kitchen; Jordan and Bill washed out the nasty fridge; Drew and Jeff put up sheet rock.

All this sounds not all that great, but I really had a great time. I mean, come on: I spent like a day and a half with some of my best friends, just a really good feeling. Of course, there was the whole episode tonight...ugh. I suppose if I get into it again, I'll just get me and certain readers of this frustrated all over again. But let me clarify that any anger I felt (or still feel, actually) is tempered by the fact that I still love them and always will. I hope you feel the same...?

I wrote today. I did! It's a four-stanza poem, and it's been in my back pocket since this afternoon. It's not half bad...okay, yes it is half-bad. But I think it's half-good too. Maybe just because it's something, but I feel better about my "ability" to write now that I have something down on paper. Maybe someday I'll start putting my real writing on this blog; it's all stashed away somewhere.

Forelorn

I finish school very quickly these days. Makes me feel not as bad about starting really late in the mornings. :)

I was thinking last night and talking with Lily about my writing. Writing used to be my lifeblood. I would wake up in the middle of the night and grab a notebook, writing in the dark if I had to, just to get a great idea down on paper. I would transfer whatever was jumbling my feelings into something coherent on paper. Writing was like therapy for me, I guess. But now...it feels like an estranged friend. Someone that you miss because you haven't seen them in forever. Then one day you call them up and say, "Hey, let's get together." But when you sit down with them at the coffee shop, you just keep thinking to yourself, I do not know this person. What happened to our friendship? Is it even possible to bring it back? This is how I feel about my writing. Like I lost my connection to it. Was I lying to myself back when I thought I had potential? Or did I waste it all, and now it's gone forever?

This has come to my mind as lately I have been having different conflicting thoughts. I want to work it all out and be able to look at it objectively in writing. Or maybe, if I'm honest with myself, I'll admit that I just want to romanticize it away and make my own confusion sound noble in a poem. But then there's the conflict. I am trying--well, maybe this branches into territory that would be better kept to myself. Like I said previously, I'm going to dam up the river of complaints to you guys. Sound good to you? It does to me. Kind of.

Do you like Skillet? They are an amazing band. Christian band too! It's sort of rare that I find a Christian band that has talent...not saying that to disparage worship songs, of course! It's just that, in the words of one singer, "Whatever the secular guys were making yesterday, that's what the Christians are making today." It's sadly true. It all sound the same. All sounds like cool-guy posers who want to reconcile their Christian audience to a mainstream audience. That's why I like it when I find a genuinely God-fearing group that just MAKES MUSIC. They just let their love of Christ flow into a beautiful outlet called rock music. Here's one of their songs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1Vo7NOpKoE

The more I think about it, the more I really want to learn to ice skate. Just the gliding along is a great feeling...imagine what it must be like to own the ice with your skates! The combination of speed, grace, and working your butt off is amazing.

My Goals for the next Decade.

Okay, here they are:

1 year:
have my driver's permit.
be an expert on something.
be nice to Lily.
get in shape.
be a good cook.

5 years:
work with books.
have a driver's license.
go on a road trip.
be a bridesmaid.

10 years:
married with kids.
maybe doing some writing.
have something published.
have an active ministry in my church.

Doing Things

Yesterday I went on a hike with friends. That was actually surprisingly fun...since I am NOT a hiker in any sense of the word. I only had to stop and collapse on the ground, gasping pathetically, one time! And I only blacked out once too. hehe. Afterwards we went to a waterfall that Pres hadn't seen. That was booooring because it's just a waterfall, but then it got fun. Megan, Michelle, and I jumped in the back of Jeff's truck; we thought he might drive like a 40 feet and we'd jump out. But we all went for a little ride down the road. It was actually really relaxing to feel the breeze. Except for when I kept SLAMMING back into Megan when Jeff SLAMMED on the accelerator. Geez.
So then I went to Michelly's for a sleepover (surprise surprise). I prob won't go again soon because I think I'm becoming a nuisance to Mr. Parks. I have been over probably three or four times in the past two weeks. But the interesting part was that Lily decided to sleep over too! And she was cool. Greg, Ben, and Tara came over for the evening. We played Settlers of Catan and an interesting version of charades.
I finally got Muriel's story proofed and typed. So there's on thing off my back. But now I have another thing to replace it! (albeit a little prob) I left my camera at Michelle's house, so now I can't upload the pics from yesterday immediately. That seriously bugs me. I wanted to email everybody the bestest ones and give Uncle Don some nice group photos.
I am depressed about the way I look again. I have had sooooooo many people tell me I look 15. I seriously is bothering me. First Mrs. Potts said it. Then Michelle said it. Then Jordan said it. Then Mr. Parks said it. Then one of Jordan's friends--who I don't even know; I met him ONCE--said it!!! Makes me want to hide in a corner like the little girl everyone seems to think I am. Forgive my self-absorption; it's just that this is my biggest pet peeve these days.
Have you guys ever been to www.totallylookslike.com? Check it out; it's pretty funny.

Psalm 33. It's beautiful.