A Good Day.

Today Jeff came over...twice! :) The second time he came over he drove his motorcycle, which was kinda cool. I have kind of gotten used to the idea of a motorcycle being a feasible means of transporation, but when he drove away I still felt a little scared and uttered a short prayer. So, yes, it still seems dangerous to me. But it is ooookay. I will not worry about it...-_-

But anyway, when he was here, we destroyed some stuff in the backyard. First we pulled apart that old, broken couch swing. That was pretty easy, so we worked on the playhouse. Yes, the playhouse is completely obliterated. I won't lie; I'm a little sad about that. I have some fun memories with that thing, and I know that the little kids will miss it when they come over in the summer. But it's okay, at least it gave Jeff something to ax down! hehe he was laughing when he saw how fearful I was of that ax. Come to think about it, he was laughing at me the whole evening! Oh well, I suppose I make an entertainingly dumb sight oftentimes.

Today in my writing class, I was assigned to write something that is my favorite memory. I had two choices in my head that I bounced back and forth between. I finally chose Bible quizzing, which has had a profound and very positive impact on my life, mostly in the way of relationships. If there was one time I could ever go back and relive, that would be it. With almost nothing done differently. Isn't it rare how often that happens! Even the best memories will sometimes have something that you wish you could go back and fix. It's a treasure when something is a blessing from God from beginning to end, no doubt about it.

The other thing that was runner-up was actually an evening I had this last campout. Jeff, Bek, me, and Jason all went out and talked on the docks. I got to lie down and watch the stars during that time, and it was really good conversation. I'd hung out with Jeff before, but never really gotten to know anything all that deep. It felt good to be able to have a conversation with someone that is completely serious, but still really enjoyable. And of course I loved talking to Bek. I don't get to see her all that often, only once a year usually. She's more mature than a lot of people give her credit for, I think.

I'm supposed to be in bed right now. I'm not tired. But I will go to sleep now, because I know that I'll be zonked in the morning if I don't. :(

Trapezii. I feelz dem.

I haven't been on a computer in two days, and I didn't miss it at all! Yesterday morning we went over to the Sires/Naish house and did some moooooving! I actually really enjoyed it, my muscles are pretty sore (in the good way). After a beautiful day, we left mid-afternoon to get me to the library. I shelved for two hours , then went back to Jeff's house for some more moving! Then I went to Meymey's house for a sleepover. Well, actually we went to the Potts house till like 1:30 or so. Elder Dave helped Mike with their bathroom while we sat around (except for the bathroom run/Doritos coveting trip to Fred Meyer).

Next day, we started out at Permapost wheeeee. Not all that exciting, but I learned that dancing with a vacuum can be rather fun when one puts in their earphones. :P We then went over to Jeff's again, which is pretty much where we spent the rest of the day. Megan, Janelle, and I packed up the kitchen; Jordan and Bill washed out the nasty fridge; Drew and Jeff put up sheet rock.

All this sounds not all that great, but I really had a great time. I mean, come on: I spent like a day and a half with some of my best friends, just a really good feeling. Of course, there was the whole episode tonight...ugh. I suppose if I get into it again, I'll just get me and certain readers of this frustrated all over again. But let me clarify that any anger I felt (or still feel, actually) is tempered by the fact that I still love them and always will. I hope you feel the same...?

I wrote today. I did! It's a four-stanza poem, and it's been in my back pocket since this afternoon. It's not half bad...okay, yes it is half-bad. But I think it's half-good too. Maybe just because it's something, but I feel better about my "ability" to write now that I have something down on paper. Maybe someday I'll start putting my real writing on this blog; it's all stashed away somewhere.

"It's my-ee aighteenth birthday-ee tuhday-ee!"

Although I hate that character (and was sort of glad when she died...I'm a spiteful creature!), I've been saying that line all day and will continue to chant it till tomorrow! :D

Which means that today is my eighteenth birthday! Daddy took me out to breakfast eeearrly (I got up at 5:15 and we got to the restaurant at 6:00), where we had a very nice talk. He gave me a gift card to Barnes & Noble, which OF COURSE I was very excited about! It was Cindy's day off, though, so I didn't get free fruit or anything. :( When I got home, Mom gave me some num-nums and tasty juice! Grandma gave me a sweater that is pretty much the softest thing ever. I love my family so very very much (this is not because they give me stuff on my birthday).

I complained, both to others and myself, yesterday about how I really thin that eighteen is too old for me. Not that I am not ready to face up to life (okay, well maybe I'm not, but I'm getting there), but I really ought to be considered as an adult now. Yet, I know I will not be unless I act and think like one. Do I want to? I believe that I do. It's just a slightly difficult transition for me.

I have library work today, and Megan's picking me up afterwards. We, along with Mishmash and Danna, are going to have a really weird slumber party that I am quite positive will result in extreme sleepiness the next day at Courtney's concert. 240 milligrams of caffeine is something that I am quite interested to learn the effects of.

Speaking of concerts, did I tell you guys yet about that concert coming up? On March 22, Jeremy Camp, MercyMe, Hawk Nelson, and Tenth Avenue North are coming here. Best part is, there's no advance purchases of tickets. Just show up at the door and give them $10! I really want to go, and I think that if we get together a big enough group, it could happen...yes it's on a Wednesday, but I never ever miss Wednesday nights. I think that I can be absent just once.

Danna told me on Wednesday that I am very open on my blog. Funny, I always thought that I was rather reserved to what I'm really feeling...I think that certain blogs, which write mostly in secretive allegories, can be more enlightening into the inner thoughts than mine. This is because if you know what you're looking for, it's not that hard to decipher what someone really means by supposed random type.

I met Coralynn yesterday! I have to admit, all the crazy cooing that Michelle and Marinda have been doing over that kid is not over-the-top at all. She's so adorable! Her eyes are enormous, and she's super chubby. Chubby babies are fun to poke. I was quite entertained yesterday by staring her down intensely; I think I either intrigued or disturbed her. Or even better, both! >:)

Which is worse: to be absolutely sure of something, but change your mind several times, or to admit that you really don't know for sure what you think yet--and keep people in the dark as to what you really feel?

My hair is getting really long. Meh, I'm too lazy to go get it cut hehe.

Campout 2008

Learning about the glories of heaven.
Drawing close to God.
Drawing close to God's people, my real family.
Lying on the docks, having good conversations.
Eating marshalades and throwing them.
Seeing the Predmores.
Singing to the Lord in the kitchen.
Calling Melinda all kinds of weird names.
Hiking up an easy hike...that practically killed me.
Boating across the lake with amazingly cool people.
Eating my mom's world-famous food.
Helping my mom cook that world-famous food.
Playing "Down by the Banks" and not feeling stupid about it.
Being silly.
Being serious.
Looking at my future with fear and happiness.
Seeing Vengeance Creek.
Trying ping pong and not caring that I FAILED.
Watching a new sport be invented (Ultimate Ping Pong!!!)
Hugging people.
Learning to trust God more than ever.
Watching four precious saints be baptized in the lake.
Crying for joy with them.
Remembering and missing Grandpa Bob.
Laughing at the cheesy and marvelous slideshow.
Counting the times people said, "It's cold out here."
Wearing the dorky life jackets.
Being honest with people who care about me.
Learning new things about myself.
Wondering about other people.
Loving and being loved.

My heart is full and yearns for heaven. But while I'm here, it soars to be with the church family that I love more than words can say. ♥

Campout tomorrow!!!

Yes I'm excited. Could you tell??? ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺Today was a MAD scramble to finish shopping for campout food. We loaded up three carts FULL at the grocery store. Then we stuffed it all in our little Civic. Then we unloaded it all at home. Then we loaded it all into Uncle Don's truck. Then we drove to the church and unloaded it there. And TOMORROW we load it up again and drive it up to Clearlake. Whew! But I'm still smiling! 8D
So I thought your Jeff's friend Ben was going to come on Wednesday to church too? But I suppose I misheard. Too bad, he was a really funny fellow.
I watched a movie today called Funny Girl. It's a musical with Barbra Streisand and Omar Sharif. Really good stuff. I know Streisand is kind of a nasty old weirdo in real life, but she's a really good actress. And outstanding singer. She and Dianne Weist are probably my favorite actresses. (Dianne Weist was the Avon lady in Edward Scissorhands and the evil queen in The 10th Kingdom.)
I finished packing today; it's amazing how much stuff I feel like I have to bring to a four-day trip! And I even tried to pack light this time! But what can I say: girls will be girls.
Since I'm going into my senior year of high school, it seems like everybody everybody EVERYBODY is asking me what my plans for the future are. Ugh, I don't like being reminded! How am I supposed to decide what I want as a "career" or whatever, when my ultimate goal is to get married and have kids, just like God designed. But I don't even know if I'll get that far. I mean, of course I want that; every girl I know wants that. But I just don't know if it could work. It's a little weird for me.
So I guess I should start thinking about my future on a practical level. College and work and all that lovely stuff. XP Not so lovely when I start thinking seriously about it. What's my problem? Megan wants to be a dental hygienist, Danna wants to be a nurse, Robyn's a hairstylist, Marinda wants to go into landscaping, and me? I'm completely aimless!!! Well, working with books has always sounded promising. If I could find an interesting line of work there. But it's scary to me to do anything important or to make any important decisions. I need discipline, that's what I need.

I'll think about it again after this marvelous weekend. See y'alls (or most of y'alls) tomorrow!☺☺☺☺☺☺

Rips in the Wings

Short post today.

I feel simultaneously secure, comfortable...and jittery, unsure. Not a good feeling. Don't even ask; it's one of those strange Emily schizophrenic moments that makes me want to hurt myself. I have been getting a little less confident about things lately. Everything from my walk with God to my likeability to my friendships to my looks to my family to--well I just have been having a lot of stupid doubts.

I'm reading the Randy Alcorn book Heaven. It was assigned to me by my mom, but I think I'm really going to enjoy it. He obviously can't possibly know all about heaven, but at least I know he truly searched the Word and has come to his conclusions with prayer and faithfulness.

Sometimes I guess we get caught up in living for God here (which is what we're supposed to do!) that we forget: every believer gets to spend all of ETERNITY worshiping God, loving Him, and communing with him--with all other believers from all time! What a gift the Lord has in store for us!

I did a computer test thingy--I entered my photo into a program to see what "celebrity" I look like. I did it with a few other girlfriends too. Michelle, Megan, and Danna. They ALL came out as looking like gorgeous, glamorous movie star ladies. I came out as Bill Gates. Typical. :'(

So I just got my ear pierced on the left side yesterday. Bishelly came with and we had fun. It looks pretty good too. Next one is possibly going to be a little hoop in the side of the ear. But I don't know yet. Maybe a little nose stud? When I get older, I'm almost definitely getting a tattoo on my ankle. None of these things have been okay'd by my parents...yet. They may change their minds yet. ;)

Mom and Lily did the first campout shopping today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that's 23 exclamation points) That's exciting!!!

I think I'll end every post with a verse reference. But I'll just do the reference (it'll make you guys look it up yourselves haha) So go read...James 1:2-7. idk I just really love everything in James.

Lazing.

Is lazing a word? As in, "I'm just lazing around," or "There's got to be more to do than lazing!" Yes, it is a word.
And that's all I'm really doing right now. I did my morning chores...*huge yawn* and listened to some music...fun but I ALWAYS do that. I'm beginning to think that my brain is powered by listening to songs, because I get this weird jitterish feeling when my house is silent. And then when I turn on some songs, my whole mind just feels better.
I saw WALL•E on Saturday! It was sooooooo sweet and very incredibly animated. The characters said practically nothing for most of the movie, but that's ok. The story was just as good without dialog, seriously. And the little Pixar short before the movie...absolutely priceless! I don't think my dad and I have laughed that hard at slapstick for a long long time. Aaron and Lily weren't QUITE as thrilled about the movie as I was, but I think they like it.
Sunday's GBI was like a graveyard. With all the people on vacation, there were a total of like, 15 attenders! That included the babysitters with the kids. I got this warm fuzzy feeling during my kid-watching time. When I walked in the nursery, Caleb Smith asked, "Are you the next nursery shift?" I said yes, and all the kids cheered and jumped around! Made me feel really happy.☺☺☺
Today is Rebekah's birthday party. I still haven't gotten her a prezzie, so we'll pick one up on the way over there. I love that kid! She's so sweet and gentle. And she said I'm still her best friend. Another happy moment...kids rock!
Yesterday Aaron and I made cherry-rose petal preserves. It was pretty time-consuming, and it basically tastes like cherry jelly. With a hint of rose fragrance. But oh-well, it gave us an excuse to dress up in face masks and be the...COOKING NINJAS!!! We were going to videotape it and put it on YouTube, but it didn't turn out to very interesting videos. So scratch that.
Right now Lily's reading the Bible, Mom's at coffee with friends, Aaron's playing RuneScape, and I'm finishing this blog. A pretty average Tuesday.
Later, fiends--er, friends!

Weekend makes for very good times

So this weekend I had fun. On Saturday, we went to Blue Moon for breakfast with Aunt Lori, Mrs. Parks, and Michelle. Michelle and I completely BORED Lily to tears with talk about lots of girly stuff.
After a lovely breakfast of salsa omelette and hash browns, we stole Michelle and went to a camping/hanging out...sort of place for the afternoon. The Loynes' were there, but Megan was working so basically it was me and Bichelle with much more mah-velous GIRL talk. Lots and lots. We also waded in the creek and I found a heart-shaped rock! It's in my room now. Not sure what I'll do with it yet.
So when it was time to take Michelle home, we finagled to let me spend the night at her house, which is ALWAYS so much fun!!! We went over to their friends' house for a barbecue. I had a blast because the two little kids there have tons of wicked awesome Star Wars stuff. They actually had a classic Lando action figure with his original Jabba's palace helmet! So basically the evening was Parker and Noah (the two kids) showing me all their cool Star Wars stuff, while Michelle and Jordan made fun of me and called me a geek. Good times...
So Marinda brought her car, and she took Shelly and I to Hollywood Video. We rented a movie and Michelle bought four.
Then we went back to her house and watched Much Ado about Nothing, my favorite Shakespeare play! Michelle and Jordan went downstairs and watched The Pink Panther...I guess they can't handle Benedick's witty contemplations or Hero's tragic misfortune. But I loooooved it!!! Beatrice is my favorite character, and it's a rare thing when my favorite person in a movie is a girl.
So the next day was church obviously. Yeah and we did Communion cooking too. Not much to report there, except that I think we did it in record time! We even had time to rush over to Macy's and try on some crazy cool outfits! It was really fun, my girlfriends are so purty-ful in fancy dresses. (I looked rather out of place in a formal gown, lol)
Sooooo then there was Communion, a beautiful time of course. Except for Megan's "soft feet" comment! haha!
Robyn's coming over for lunch, so I gots to get working on that. Oh geez she'll be here in half an hour. Crap I'm gonna be so rushed!!!! Gotta go!

It's Time to Tell the World...

...that today is sunny! Yee-ha. Yesterday I vacuumed the car. Double yee-ha! I also watched Alice in Wonderland. Not the Disney cartoon...but the WAY better live action one. I think it was actually made for TV by Hallmark, but it's BAZOOOKA GREAT! If anybody's seen Napoleon Dynamite, you know the girl who plays Deb? She played Alice in this version when she was younger. I ♥ it.

Last Tuesday I had chicken adobo at the Tuesday Market, and now I'm addicted. It's a Filipino dish of really tender seasoned chicken over rice. They served me a heaping bowl for $5.50 and I scarfed it faster than anything. I got a recipe off the net and will make it sometime. Maybe some of you fine folks can come to my house and eat it with me! Huzzah!

I have a song stuck in my head. Care to share in my misery? It's Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim. Listen to it; you'll love it then hate it because IT NEVER LEAVES. Tony played it on our comp when they came for dinner Sunday. Speaking of which, I like the Varelas. Very very very nice people, and all of them hecka funny. Except it was too bad that Jordan couldn't come. He was at football camp or some such crap.

Here's the question of the day: why do children tattle? In my opinion, there are several possible explanations. What do you think?

An Actual Day

Today I didn't sit around being pointless!!! Here is a fairly exhaustive list of my activities of the day:

I did some cooking. This was basically just doing what Mom tells me to do as she cooks, but it was something.
I vacuumed. Self-explanatory.
I dusted. That was mildly fun because I got to listen to my French CD as I danced around with the duster.
I washed the windows. That was fun at first, because I'd never done it before and I swirled the rag around in time with Will Smith's AWESOME track "Switch." Then my arm got really tired and it wasn't fun anymore. But I finished it and now the windows are pretty clean.☺
I moved some plants around. That was because Bama is feeling pretty benevolent and wants to give Mommy a planter full of plants (well I guess there's nothing else it would be full of), so I put it on the deck.
I hooked up my karaoke machine to the TV, which was surprisingly easy. I just hope that Dad isn't mad when the DVD player doesn't work tonight....
I sang on the karaoke machine to make sure it works. That was fun, except I think I gave a headache to my poor mother and sister. And I'm sure poor Frank Sinatra never wanted his songs to be treated so disgracefully.

Tonight Daddy is taking Lily and me out to buy Mommy a birthday present. I know what I want to get her; the only thing I'm worried about is whether or not the store will have it (and whether or not Mom already has it!)
I've gotten back into writing, and now I'm addicted to my own story. It's a good feeling.

It was a Wednesday

So yesterday and today I laughed myself silly on the Marvel/DC vids from RandomGuy. He's my new hero!!! And Season 2 is up and running with Batman and Iron Man going up against each other. *sigh* Sometimes stuff is just good.
Yesterday we went to The Courtyard, which is a small gift shop with tons of good stuff. My mom bought a TOTAL find! It's an issue of the Saturday Evening Post from 1968! There was this whole article about the music scene going on then, and lots of funny advertisements. I had a ball reading it.
So today I made some cupcakes for the Bereans kids tonight. I, sadly, don't get any. I think I want to make my famous (well, not famous YET) flourless chocolate cake. Everyone I know who's ever had it likes it. I love watching people's eyes get wide and they say, "Wow, this is really good." And then I do my little victory dance. Which is basically just jumping in circles and waving my hands around. What can you expect, I'm a white girl!
Tonight is church, so that's something. These lazy days basically make Wednesdays my favorite day of the week.

I think I am going to let myself like Foreigner again. It's been a long time.

Watch this Movie

Yes, yes, I know that my last post was about a movie. But you know me, I love 'em.
So I've been compiling a list of movies I think everyone should watch. They're almost all clean, because I don't watch raunchy stuff. Soooo here's the first one. I want everyone reading this to go out and rent...

The Lion King.

A kids movie? Yes. A cartoon? Yes! A classic Disney film that completely captures the essence of what we want from an all-ages film? Yes, yes, yes! If you've never seen it, don't knock it till you watch it. The songs are beautiful (written by Tim Rice and Elton John), the story is compelling, the animation is expressive, and the characters are sublime.

If I remember, I shall post a new movie next week.

Holy Crap!

I can't believe I still have this blog! I thought I had deleted it haha. Well as long as it's here, I might as well bore random net-surfers to tears...

I am still Emily.
I am still a teenager.
My life plods along much as usual.

How sad that I have nothing new to say since...JULY. Yikes. I don't even have my permit. Ah, well, I've been having a nice life.
I called Allisa a few weeks ago, can you believe it? She seems the same. I've been too scared to call because I'm afraid that Robbie will answer the phone and I'll be like, "Oh, uh, hi...um, how are you...?" You know how it is. Drama is retarded and I don't like to get involved in it.
Christmas was great as usual! New Years was way more fun than I was expecting. I went to Ethan's house and it was all good.
Oh, yeah, here's something different: my grandma's been living with us for about three months now. Yeah, so now both grandmas are living with us, one at either end of the house. Interesting, I must say...
Friends and semi-friends are still the same. Megan is still my bff, Danna is still my pally, and Jordan still hates me. Hey guess what? Pres has been coming to church like all the time! She even came to Wednesday Bible Study last night! That makes me much happy.

Kk well here's to '08. May it be better than '07.

Moving On

Okay, you guys have probably gotten tired of me saying, "Something happened! I can't tell you what it is though." So I'm shutting up about that.

Summer's comin' and I'm pumped! Our yard is looking really great since my mom put more flowers in. And now we have a hammock between our curly willows! Yay. Now I just need to throw a party to complete the perfect scene.

Can you believe that I'm actually ENJOYING my history and biology lately?!? I usually get soooo bored, but WW2 is really interesting. And don't laugh, but I'm really fascinated by cells. Seriously, it's really cool! Hopefully this should bring my grade point average up from a 3.6 by the end of the school year. I used to do a lot better.

This morning's Bible class was taught from John MacArthur's book The Truth War. It was really good, and I felt good that I could contribute to the conversation, like with Hegel and stuff. Er, is this in italics? It isn't as I type it, but the little italics button on top is on.

I like Bubbalicious. It's been forever since I had it, and I just started chewing it again. It's so much more fun than regular gum!!! I can like blow bubbles, and double-bubbles, and make huge cracking noises when I snap my gum! It's so great. Heehee.

I'm hoping to go see Spidey 3 on Saturday. I might not, because my dad will be using the car, but there's a movie theater within walking distance of our house. Has anybody else seen it? Don't give anything away, but tell me if you thought it was good. I've heard people either say it was super-great, or just okay. At least nobody hated it.

God bless always,
Emily

I had an AWESOME birthday party!!!! I had 17 people here, and they all brought me presents...even though I told them not to. But it was sweet of them. I got some cuh-razy cool earrings and Robbie gave me this gorgeous pin that'ss a cursive E. And I'm gonna be soooo buzzed because I got a TON of Starbucks and other coffee places gift cards!!!!

Next Saturday we're all going to the mountain to go tubing in the snow! That'll be fun. I just hope I don't look like a total idiot by slipping and sliding down to my...doom. Or whatever.

The Superbowl Party was a blast too! We played hide-and-seek in the whole neighborhood and I was so glad that my friends didn't watch the game.

A-jay's visiting in August!!! For anybody who doesn't know, Anjeannette is my older sister who lives in Louisiana. And she said that she's bringing the kids this time!

Oh, yes, I almost forgot. Today's my birthday!!!! And Daddy gave me a sansa MP3 player!!!!! woohoo, I'm excited! Sixteen is truly sweeeet. And Dad said that I'm going to driver's school when we get an automatic car, so I can really learn to RULE THE ROAD. Look out, pedestrians!

Things about myself that I learned this week:

1. I'm getting better at talking to people on the phone. I spent like an hour talking to Michelle and Marinda last night on the telly-phonio, and I really enjoyed it!

2. Don't ever dance at parties. Let the guys do it, because if a girl starts to do it, it gets a little...edgy.

3. I can't play basketball to save my life. I always knew it, but Robbie persuaded me into trying on Wednesday. It was such an easy shot, but I threw an airball anyway. Embarrassing.

4. I'm dependent on friends! I didn't realize until recently that my whole life revolves around my friends, and I get soooo mopey and sad without them, or if I have to leave a party or something.

5. Give people the benefit of the doubt. When I met my friend Paul, I automatically thought he was just some geek. Now I realize that he's actually really fun to talk to. When I met Jordan P., I thought he was just some jerk who wanted attention. Now he's really nice and cool.

Well, I'm gonna rip my CD's onto WMP now so I can download them onto my new sansa!!!

Crying
by Emily

Life is but a dream, a dream
That passes in and out
Through waves of whisper and of scream
In its ship is tossed about.

Life is but to sleep, to sleep
And hope to one day wake
From never-ending wail and weep
Watching for dawn to break.

And in one one moment of blissful sun
Our Creator shines His grace
On me, a wretched, selfish one
And clouds flee from my face.

Life is sweet, o precious sweet
Each moment alive and strong
I feel my thrilling heart to beat
To the notes of my Maker's song.

okay, here's my first experience on the dunes, to the best of my memory. i'm not going to put a detailed account of what all happened and in what order; i want this to be more of a telling of how it felt.

the first time i went out on the dunes, i rode behind my best friend, megan. sitting on the three-wheeler at our campsite, her dad gave us a quick rundown of what we were supposed to do. "stay with us until we get out to the dunes. don't go too fast on turns. if you get stuck, call me for help." i figured that megan had heard it all before, but she listened carefully anyway. maybe it was just part of the ATV experience. so her uncle started up the engine of each rig, and we rode through the camp towards the dunes. every person we passed nodded or waved at us. it seemed to me that they all had the same feeling that we did, because, after all we were all there for the same reason. the feeling that everything here is so simple, so easy. you're here for one reason, to ride. those simple gestures of friendliness probably made the most difference in getting me relaxed and ready for the dunes.
when we arrived at the dunes themselves, the first thing i noticed about it was how...ready it was. it was ready for us. ready for us to zoom around on it. ready for me to get used to riding, and ready to get the others in their groove. on a hill of sand, you could ride up to the top and glimpse the ocean, or you could ride down to the bottom and feel the shade of the trees. i knew that God had made this place. the mere arrangement of it all proved, to me at least, that He wanted us to have a good time. so we rode on the hill for a while. then megan's dad told us that we were all going up to the top. he said that it would be easier riding up there. as megan gained speed up the hill, i panicked. my breath came in short gasps. my brain wasn't working. i was extremely tense. she rode faster, faster up the hill. at the top, there was a barrier of trees, with small, single file roads between them. we went in and we were swallowed into the narrow pathways between the trees. it seemed as though we would be riding through these trees forever. turn left, turn right, we were still in it. it went on forever. but it didn't go on forever. we rode through the trees, making turns often, ducking low branches, and then-
Bam.
we were out on a flat plane, as far as i could see. soft sand rolling on and on. the whole world seemed to be an open savannah, ready for us to play on. and i got this feeling, like...everything's cool. each thought that passed through my mind seemed infinitely okay. wherever i was in life, geographically, emotionally, or in time, it was the perfect place. i didn't want anything to be any different. not with my family life, my age, or anything. everything seemed alright.
i got to drive on the dunes myself, too. i don't know, but there's something about tearing up a huge area of sand that gives you the feeling of unlimited power.
and the beach...now there's a rush. the water licking at your tires, but never quite reaching it...the smooth, wet sand, just waiting for you to break the speed limit and get your heart pounding. and the sun, slowly fading into a pink and orange explosion as it vanished below the horizon. i could almost feel the ocean and the clouds watching me, to see if i fit into this world of revving engines and rushing speed. i think i passed their watchful test.
i think that it was a different person in me that returned from the dunes that night. it was a person who was satisfied. a person who knew more about the good life than she did only a few hours before.
the next time i went out, do you think that i felt the same exhileration? you bet i did. but did i get that same feeling of absolute cool? no, not really. i don't think that i'll ever get that again. but i'll never forget how it felt to be there, not just there physically, but to be THERE. do you get what i'm saying? maybe not. maybe i shouldn't have even said all this. but i wanted it written down somewhere, and so i guess that here is okay.