A Good Day.

Today Jeff came over...twice! :) The second time he came over he drove his motorcycle, which was kinda cool. I have kind of gotten used to the idea of a motorcycle being a feasible means of transporation, but when he drove away I still felt a little scared and uttered a short prayer. So, yes, it still seems dangerous to me. But it is ooookay. I will not worry about it...-_-

But anyway, when he was here, we destroyed some stuff in the backyard. First we pulled apart that old, broken couch swing. That was pretty easy, so we worked on the playhouse. Yes, the playhouse is completely obliterated. I won't lie; I'm a little sad about that. I have some fun memories with that thing, and I know that the little kids will miss it when they come over in the summer. But it's okay, at least it gave Jeff something to ax down! hehe he was laughing when he saw how fearful I was of that ax. Come to think about it, he was laughing at me the whole evening! Oh well, I suppose I make an entertainingly dumb sight oftentimes.

Today in my writing class, I was assigned to write something that is my favorite memory. I had two choices in my head that I bounced back and forth between. I finally chose Bible quizzing, which has had a profound and very positive impact on my life, mostly in the way of relationships. If there was one time I could ever go back and relive, that would be it. With almost nothing done differently. Isn't it rare how often that happens! Even the best memories will sometimes have something that you wish you could go back and fix. It's a treasure when something is a blessing from God from beginning to end, no doubt about it.

The other thing that was runner-up was actually an evening I had this last campout. Jeff, Bek, me, and Jason all went out and talked on the docks. I got to lie down and watch the stars during that time, and it was really good conversation. I'd hung out with Jeff before, but never really gotten to know anything all that deep. It felt good to be able to have a conversation with someone that is completely serious, but still really enjoyable. And of course I loved talking to Bek. I don't get to see her all that often, only once a year usually. She's more mature than a lot of people give her credit for, I think.

I'm supposed to be in bed right now. I'm not tired. But I will go to sleep now, because I know that I'll be zonked in the morning if I don't. :(

"It's my-ee aighteenth birthday-ee tuhday-ee!"

Although I hate that character (and was sort of glad when she died...I'm a spiteful creature!), I've been saying that line all day and will continue to chant it till tomorrow! :D

Which means that today is my eighteenth birthday! Daddy took me out to breakfast eeearrly (I got up at 5:15 and we got to the restaurant at 6:00), where we had a very nice talk. He gave me a gift card to Barnes & Noble, which OF COURSE I was very excited about! It was Cindy's day off, though, so I didn't get free fruit or anything. :( When I got home, Mom gave me some num-nums and tasty juice! Grandma gave me a sweater that is pretty much the softest thing ever. I love my family so very very much (this is not because they give me stuff on my birthday).

I complained, both to others and myself, yesterday about how I really thin that eighteen is too old for me. Not that I am not ready to face up to life (okay, well maybe I'm not, but I'm getting there), but I really ought to be considered as an adult now. Yet, I know I will not be unless I act and think like one. Do I want to? I believe that I do. It's just a slightly difficult transition for me.

I have library work today, and Megan's picking me up afterwards. We, along with Mishmash and Danna, are going to have a really weird slumber party that I am quite positive will result in extreme sleepiness the next day at Courtney's concert. 240 milligrams of caffeine is something that I am quite interested to learn the effects of.

Speaking of concerts, did I tell you guys yet about that concert coming up? On March 22, Jeremy Camp, MercyMe, Hawk Nelson, and Tenth Avenue North are coming here. Best part is, there's no advance purchases of tickets. Just show up at the door and give them $10! I really want to go, and I think that if we get together a big enough group, it could happen...yes it's on a Wednesday, but I never ever miss Wednesday nights. I think that I can be absent just once.

Danna told me on Wednesday that I am very open on my blog. Funny, I always thought that I was rather reserved to what I'm really feeling...I think that certain blogs, which write mostly in secretive allegories, can be more enlightening into the inner thoughts than mine. This is because if you know what you're looking for, it's not that hard to decipher what someone really means by supposed random type.

I met Coralynn yesterday! I have to admit, all the crazy cooing that Michelle and Marinda have been doing over that kid is not over-the-top at all. She's so adorable! Her eyes are enormous, and she's super chubby. Chubby babies are fun to poke. I was quite entertained yesterday by staring her down intensely; I think I either intrigued or disturbed her. Or even better, both! >:)

Which is worse: to be absolutely sure of something, but change your mind several times, or to admit that you really don't know for sure what you think yet--and keep people in the dark as to what you really feel?

My hair is getting really long. Meh, I'm too lazy to go get it cut hehe.

Campout 2008

Learning about the glories of heaven.
Drawing close to God.
Drawing close to God's people, my real family.
Lying on the docks, having good conversations.
Eating marshalades and throwing them.
Seeing the Predmores.
Singing to the Lord in the kitchen.
Calling Melinda all kinds of weird names.
Hiking up an easy hike...that practically killed me.
Boating across the lake with amazingly cool people.
Eating my mom's world-famous food.
Helping my mom cook that world-famous food.
Playing "Down by the Banks" and not feeling stupid about it.
Being silly.
Being serious.
Looking at my future with fear and happiness.
Seeing Vengeance Creek.
Trying ping pong and not caring that I FAILED.
Watching a new sport be invented (Ultimate Ping Pong!!!)
Hugging people.
Learning to trust God more than ever.
Watching four precious saints be baptized in the lake.
Crying for joy with them.
Remembering and missing Grandpa Bob.
Laughing at the cheesy and marvelous slideshow.
Counting the times people said, "It's cold out here."
Wearing the dorky life jackets.
Being honest with people who care about me.
Learning new things about myself.
Wondering about other people.
Loving and being loved.

My heart is full and yearns for heaven. But while I'm here, it soars to be with the church family that I love more than words can say. ♥

Campout tomorrow!!!

Yes I'm excited. Could you tell??? ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺Today was a MAD scramble to finish shopping for campout food. We loaded up three carts FULL at the grocery store. Then we stuffed it all in our little Civic. Then we unloaded it all at home. Then we loaded it all into Uncle Don's truck. Then we drove to the church and unloaded it there. And TOMORROW we load it up again and drive it up to Clearlake. Whew! But I'm still smiling! 8D
So I thought your Jeff's friend Ben was going to come on Wednesday to church too? But I suppose I misheard. Too bad, he was a really funny fellow.
I watched a movie today called Funny Girl. It's a musical with Barbra Streisand and Omar Sharif. Really good stuff. I know Streisand is kind of a nasty old weirdo in real life, but she's a really good actress. And outstanding singer. She and Dianne Weist are probably my favorite actresses. (Dianne Weist was the Avon lady in Edward Scissorhands and the evil queen in The 10th Kingdom.)
I finished packing today; it's amazing how much stuff I feel like I have to bring to a four-day trip! And I even tried to pack light this time! But what can I say: girls will be girls.
Since I'm going into my senior year of high school, it seems like everybody everybody EVERYBODY is asking me what my plans for the future are. Ugh, I don't like being reminded! How am I supposed to decide what I want as a "career" or whatever, when my ultimate goal is to get married and have kids, just like God designed. But I don't even know if I'll get that far. I mean, of course I want that; every girl I know wants that. But I just don't know if it could work. It's a little weird for me.
So I guess I should start thinking about my future on a practical level. College and work and all that lovely stuff. XP Not so lovely when I start thinking seriously about it. What's my problem? Megan wants to be a dental hygienist, Danna wants to be a nurse, Robyn's a hairstylist, Marinda wants to go into landscaping, and me? I'm completely aimless!!! Well, working with books has always sounded promising. If I could find an interesting line of work there. But it's scary to me to do anything important or to make any important decisions. I need discipline, that's what I need.

I'll think about it again after this marvelous weekend. See y'alls (or most of y'alls) tomorrow!☺☺☺☺☺☺

Rips in the Wings

Short post today.

I feel simultaneously secure, comfortable...and jittery, unsure. Not a good feeling. Don't even ask; it's one of those strange Emily schizophrenic moments that makes me want to hurt myself. I have been getting a little less confident about things lately. Everything from my walk with God to my likeability to my friendships to my looks to my family to--well I just have been having a lot of stupid doubts.

I'm reading the Randy Alcorn book Heaven. It was assigned to me by my mom, but I think I'm really going to enjoy it. He obviously can't possibly know all about heaven, but at least I know he truly searched the Word and has come to his conclusions with prayer and faithfulness.

Sometimes I guess we get caught up in living for God here (which is what we're supposed to do!) that we forget: every believer gets to spend all of ETERNITY worshiping God, loving Him, and communing with him--with all other believers from all time! What a gift the Lord has in store for us!

I did a computer test thingy--I entered my photo into a program to see what "celebrity" I look like. I did it with a few other girlfriends too. Michelle, Megan, and Danna. They ALL came out as looking like gorgeous, glamorous movie star ladies. I came out as Bill Gates. Typical. :'(

So I just got my ear pierced on the left side yesterday. Bishelly came with and we had fun. It looks pretty good too. Next one is possibly going to be a little hoop in the side of the ear. But I don't know yet. Maybe a little nose stud? When I get older, I'm almost definitely getting a tattoo on my ankle. None of these things have been okay'd by my parents...yet. They may change their minds yet. ;)

Mom and Lily did the first campout shopping today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that's 23 exclamation points) That's exciting!!!

I think I'll end every post with a verse reference. But I'll just do the reference (it'll make you guys look it up yourselves haha) So go read...James 1:2-7. idk I just really love everything in James.

Aaaahhhh...Peace and Quiet

After two weeks of rubbing a cheese grater on my nerves, my cousin has gone back home. I did enjoy having him here, but two weeks is a long time. He kept saying stupid stuff like, "I am chocolate!" or "Good job," and patting me on the arm. I probably embarrassed him because I started shrugging him off and twitching away when he would pat my shoulder or whatever. It was just a little too much!

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Mommy's painting the family room. Shhhhhh it's a surprise for my dad! It actually looks really great; nice tan color with a little brown glow. And we're getting a bunch of bookshelves for our library. That I am REALLY excited about. Imagine: a whole wall, crammed with all kinds of books imaginable! You probably can't guess how important that is to me.
I have five books to read by the end of summer. That's not including the six I already read. I hope I get it all done! Maybe I'll finish really early and be able to cram in another one. Books are from heaven.

No title coming to mind

So Michelle spent the night after the party on the 4th. *sniff* They're going to Colorado for a couple weeks, so it'll be the last one for a while. I don't like it when friends leave, even for such a short time. Makes me depressed.

Anyway. After church, I went with Megan and her family to a park type thing. We were going to swim the creek, but it was c-c-cold! So we sat around the fire and ate Polish sausage. Quite a good backup plan. Her grandparents told us that marshmallows have pig fat in them! That is so weird and pretty GROSS.
I'm listening to a playlist I made called "Delightfully Cheesy Songs." It's so marvelous! It has stuff like Barry Manilow, N*SYNC, Styx, even Carman! hehe very very cheesy stuff. Right now it's playing Strange Magic by Electric Light Orchestra.

Ok, talk to you great people later.

Weekend makes for very good times

So this weekend I had fun. On Saturday, we went to Blue Moon for breakfast with Aunt Lori, Mrs. Parks, and Michelle. Michelle and I completely BORED Lily to tears with talk about lots of girly stuff.
After a lovely breakfast of salsa omelette and hash browns, we stole Michelle and went to a camping/hanging out...sort of place for the afternoon. The Loynes' were there, but Megan was working so basically it was me and Bichelle with much more mah-velous GIRL talk. Lots and lots. We also waded in the creek and I found a heart-shaped rock! It's in my room now. Not sure what I'll do with it yet.
So when it was time to take Michelle home, we finagled to let me spend the night at her house, which is ALWAYS so much fun!!! We went over to their friends' house for a barbecue. I had a blast because the two little kids there have tons of wicked awesome Star Wars stuff. They actually had a classic Lando action figure with his original Jabba's palace helmet! So basically the evening was Parker and Noah (the two kids) showing me all their cool Star Wars stuff, while Michelle and Jordan made fun of me and called me a geek. Good times...
So Marinda brought her car, and she took Shelly and I to Hollywood Video. We rented a movie and Michelle bought four.
Then we went back to her house and watched Much Ado about Nothing, my favorite Shakespeare play! Michelle and Jordan went downstairs and watched The Pink Panther...I guess they can't handle Benedick's witty contemplations or Hero's tragic misfortune. But I loooooved it!!! Beatrice is my favorite character, and it's a rare thing when my favorite person in a movie is a girl.
So the next day was church obviously. Yeah and we did Communion cooking too. Not much to report there, except that I think we did it in record time! We even had time to rush over to Macy's and try on some crazy cool outfits! It was really fun, my girlfriends are so purty-ful in fancy dresses. (I looked rather out of place in a formal gown, lol)
Sooooo then there was Communion, a beautiful time of course. Except for Megan's "soft feet" comment! haha!
Robyn's coming over for lunch, so I gots to get working on that. Oh geez she'll be here in half an hour. Crap I'm gonna be so rushed!!!! Gotta go!

A Great Party

So yesterday we threw a surprise party for Michelle's birthday. Danna and I hid in her closet and jumped out and said, "Surprise! Happy Birthday!" (yes, I know, very original) And we had a great time. We went to Wilson River and went inner tubing down the rapids! I fell off and bruised my leg BIG time. That part wasn't so great.

Then we did manicures as we dried off on the rocks above the river. That part was my favorite haha. Then we got a pizza and went back to Shelly's house for dinner and ice cream. Then we called our parents and begged to spend the night; they said yes! So we slept on the trampoline (always fun) and I did some writing on there. Just junk that's been on my mind. Seriously, writing is the best way to figure out if you're being smart. Just write down what you've been thinking about, then look back on it, and if it seems whiny, pointless, or selfish, then adjust your mindset. But if it really reflects your true feelings, and you think that it's legitimate concerns or joys, then dwell on it and learn from it.

Danna asked Michelle how she's doing with God, and I was surprised at how honest Shelly was. She said that she believes with her brain all the stuff in the Bible, but it's hard for her to understand the relationship between sovereignty of God and man's accountability. She told us she doesn't think she's saved, but then she said that she's praying and seeking God over it that He would reveal Himself to her. So that really lifted my spirits!

The next day I woke up at 6:20, went back to sleep, woke up again at 7:00, wrote for a while, got up at 8:00, had a cup of tea, and finally kicked them all awake at 9:00 so I wouldn't be the only one up. They weren't so happy with me. But I was! So we went inside and made "waffles." I put that in parentheses because they were loaded with...oatmeal...and tasted kind of weird. But when we piled on whipped cream and strawberry sauce, they weren't so bad.

Then I looked out the window and saw Jordan reading the stuff I wrote. I have to be honest; my reaction was very bad. I ran outside, screaming at him, "PUT THAT DOWN! DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF! LEAVE MY WRITING ALONE!" and I snatched it out of his hand and stormed back in the house. Later I felt like an awful brat when he came in and apologized. So I said sorry...but I still felt like an idiot. We didn't really talk to each other for a couple hours. I can't believe I still act like a little drama queen sometimes; I'm seventeen years old and I want to grow up a little.

Then as I was starting to feel better, Michelle put in a video of Riverdance. Um. Yeah. Okay, so the first 10 minutes was really awesome. And the rocking out violinist (not even kidding, she was HEADBANGING) was crazy cool. But two hours of Irish tapdancing???? AAAAAAGGGHHHH I about went nuts.

Then Mrs. Parks took me home and took my mom to lunch. That's where they are now, and I'm just sitting here admiring my beautiful bruise from yesterday. Seriously, it's all purple and pink and cool. I like it. All in all, it was a really fun time just chilling with my homefries. I love church family.

So how's life with you guys?☺

Party Time

Today is a joint post! My friend Michelle is here, so she is going to post as well. It'll make things...ineresting? I don't know, we'll see!
So first I will speak. We just finished up my mommy's birthday lunch; it was fun for me. We were going to do karaoke, but none of the karaoke CDs were like, party kind. I mean, hymns are great, but for karaoke? Nah.
Sooooo Megan is going to another interview today. She'll probably GET THE JOB. Sorry. An annoying child is messing with the mouse. And as for me getting a job...well I don't think I want one yet. I don't like the idea of something interfering with my other FUNNER plans. So you guys can work, and then I'll just mooch off you people! ☺
Um um, I can't think of much other interesting stuff. Michelle and I are talking about the past. Quite an inexhaustible subject! It seems like we've been talking about the past for a year and a half, and we never run out of new theories as to what the past means! Life is so mysterious! Ok, now Michelle will speak her mind!

i don't really want to do this but emily is insistent which i can't spell with out emily helping....lol this key board is impossible! Emily told me to speak my mind so i am, with great pride i act like a complete idiot!!! I'll tell you about me day. I woke up about 9:50 am and read the BIBLE and slept more and ate and got dressed and eavesdropped to my moms and brothers conversation which was boring so then i left home and went to emilys house and now im here on the computer talking to you nerds....no offense......i thnk a dumb blonde is worse than a nerd....emily told me your guys nerd characteristics which are megan, biology nerd, jeff, tree chopping nerd (what ever that is) and last but not least caleb, the computer nerd.... which emily is... so yup yup...now that i've bored yall to death i will leave you till next time i see you.....good bye

My How-to of the Day

Okay, so here's how you can make those awesome little doodle things on your posts.

See the number pad on your keyboard? Not the numbers above the letters, those don't work. You gotta use a number pad. If there's no number pad, like on a laptop, go to a different computer.
So hit Alt and 1 at the same time. Let up your fingers and *presto*! Your first post emoticon. There are like a bazillion different combinations of keys to make images. My favorite is when you hit Alt+1+3 at the same time, and it makes a cute little music note. So just mess around with it, it's fun.
I'd show what some of them look like now, but I'm on a laptop. No number pad. *sniff*

Hey Mush!

What in the world were you thinking?!? I didn't even see that huge horse coming from 80 miles away. Dogs will be dogs, and kings will be fools. But that doesn't mean we have to feel farther than the sunlight...knife cuts don't matter to brain history anyway.

Blow your bangs out of your face; it's hardly worth the salt and birthrights. I was watching nails pound pound pound yesterday! Her teeth grinding, his fingers burning, my eyes bleeding???? Never!

Yet...it is a phenomenon that creates wishful thinking. Lights in the grass won't change bare eyelashes. Don't tell: I saw the shoulders rising higher HIGHER higher on this pool. YOU CARE!!!! YOU CARE NOT!!!! Ferris wheel dreams aren't as full of laughter as we thought, are they? White and black lovers hiding...I can't stop imagining their torn history of red threads.

HOLY--
HOLY--
HOLY--
HOLY--
HOLY--
nothing.

The Phantom of the Opera

I've been completely GORGING myself on the movie version of The Phantom of the Opera. I watched it Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and I loved it each time! The music, which I'd of course heard before, still was effective and incredibly moving. The atmosphere of gothic beauty and eeriness was so gorgeously sensual!
Of course, my favorite part of the movie was the Phantom himself (his name is Erik, but the movie just names him as The Phantom). It really struck me that every time he sang to Christine, she went under this complete spell of attraction, even when she was terrified of him. I suppose I can identify with that...♥ The anger in his voice that was almost permanent was electrifying!
The other characters were a mixed bag. Christine Daae was beautiful and vulnerable and everything she should be. Her blend of youth and womanliness was lovely, and her voice--incredible! I could hardly believe that Emmy Rossum (the girl who plays her) was only 18 years old in this role!
Raoul, on the other hand, well...I wasn't so into him. There was something unmistakably feminine about that ridiculous haircut, and it bothered me intensely that he was so skeptical about the very existence of the Phantom. He seemed to automatically assume that Christine was a fanciful child who believed in fairytales--and yet she was so quick to fall in love with the "insolent boy, this slave of fashion"! But in the end, I suppose I must support his unfailing goodness. But what can I say; I'm a girl who loves the bad boys.
The entire movie was a feast, plain and simple. I can't recommend it to men, in that there is an excessive amount of low-cut dresses. But it's a chick flick anyways, so, girls, indulge yourselves in the music of the night.

Next Movie to See

I know everyone has seen these, but JUST IN CASE...
Watch The Lord of the Rings. They are quite possibly the masterworks of film creations. Of course, due to their length, you'll want to make time and plan ahead. Don't just cut it off in the middle, it totally ruins it (unless you've already seen them, and in that case, why are you reading this?)
I don't even need to describe them here. You just watch/rent/BUY them. You'll thank me later.

Watch this Movie

Yes, yes, I know that my last post was about a movie. But you know me, I love 'em.
So I've been compiling a list of movies I think everyone should watch. They're almost all clean, because I don't watch raunchy stuff. Soooo here's the first one. I want everyone reading this to go out and rent...

The Lion King.

A kids movie? Yes. A cartoon? Yes! A classic Disney film that completely captures the essence of what we want from an all-ages film? Yes, yes, yes! If you've never seen it, don't knock it till you watch it. The songs are beautiful (written by Tim Rice and Elton John), the story is compelling, the animation is expressive, and the characters are sublime.

If I remember, I shall post a new movie next week.

The Thief and the Cobbler

Allow me to tell you a story I found intriguing, beautiful, and happily-ever-after all the way.

Once upon a time, there was a marvelous man named Richard Williams. He had much prestige from all around the world for his work in animation. Richard Williams had a dream.

He had a dream to direct, right, and animate the greatest animated film in the history of mankind! It was to be magical, beautiful, eyepopping and grand. Taken from old tales in the Arabian lore, it was a tale of young Tack, the poor cobbler, and the nameless thief, who together but quite separately saved The Golden Kingdom.

So, Richard Williams began his work in 1964. For 26 years he worked and let it lie dormant, unknown to the world. Then, in 1990, Richard's dreams began to come true. He signed a deal with Warner Brothers for his film to be distributed!

Alas, such a perfect situation was not to be. He couldn't finish the film on time, and Warner Brothers removed him from production and put it in the hands of a less able person, Fred Calvert. Fred attempted to fill in the gaps and the movie was officially released in 1991.

Horrifically, the film had been butchered. Much of the beauty and feeling was gone, replaced by cheap jokes and dialogue appreciated only by children. The movie was met with unsurprisingly little success, and was all but forgotten in subsequent years.

But the story does not end with this tragic turn. Fans and those who knew Richard's true intent for the film resolved to restore, as much as possible, The Thief and the Cobbler to its original and incredible state. The internet gathered movie buffs and collectors who submitted their rare footage of the original movie to one project. It included everything from complete movie sequences to simply storyboards that never even had a chance to be animated.

After much work and time, the movie was complete. Released on the net for all to see it the way it was meant, there was rejoicing in the streets! Well, not exactly...most of the world had never even been introduced to this masterwork of Richard Williams's.

I saw the released version as a child. I was satisfied with it, not knowing or caring that it was simply a mangled version of what it should be. Today I watched the REAL Thief and the Cobbler on Google Video. My eyes practically popped out of my head at the beautiful animation and tender characters. For anyone who watches it, pay careful attention to the checkered halls in the castle. It's a delicious illusion just to watch it. And the climax of the movie is very near the end, with the One Eye army's hellish war machine. Scary as anything you'll ever see, and yet terribly beautiful in its own right. I beg you not to miss this treat.

Let it be known that this movie is out there! I've included the link to the full film. Although sometimes the storyboard parts rob from the mood, you'll get used to it. If you've ever seen the officially released version, you MUST see this one. Don't miss it.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2263043366719734101

Holy Crap!

I can't believe I still have this blog! I thought I had deleted it haha. Well as long as it's here, I might as well bore random net-surfers to tears...

I am still Emily.
I am still a teenager.
My life plods along much as usual.

How sad that I have nothing new to say since...JULY. Yikes. I don't even have my permit. Ah, well, I've been having a nice life.
I called Allisa a few weeks ago, can you believe it? She seems the same. I've been too scared to call because I'm afraid that Robbie will answer the phone and I'll be like, "Oh, uh, hi...um, how are you...?" You know how it is. Drama is retarded and I don't like to get involved in it.
Christmas was great as usual! New Years was way more fun than I was expecting. I went to Ethan's house and it was all good.
Oh, yeah, here's something different: my grandma's been living with us for about three months now. Yeah, so now both grandmas are living with us, one at either end of the house. Interesting, I must say...
Friends and semi-friends are still the same. Megan is still my bff, Danna is still my pally, and Jordan still hates me. Hey guess what? Pres has been coming to church like all the time! She even came to Wednesday Bible Study last night! That makes me much happy.

Kk well here's to '08. May it be better than '07.

okay, here's my first experience on the dunes, to the best of my memory. i'm not going to put a detailed account of what all happened and in what order; i want this to be more of a telling of how it felt.

the first time i went out on the dunes, i rode behind my best friend, megan. sitting on the three-wheeler at our campsite, her dad gave us a quick rundown of what we were supposed to do. "stay with us until we get out to the dunes. don't go too fast on turns. if you get stuck, call me for help." i figured that megan had heard it all before, but she listened carefully anyway. maybe it was just part of the ATV experience. so her uncle started up the engine of each rig, and we rode through the camp towards the dunes. every person we passed nodded or waved at us. it seemed to me that they all had the same feeling that we did, because, after all we were all there for the same reason. the feeling that everything here is so simple, so easy. you're here for one reason, to ride. those simple gestures of friendliness probably made the most difference in getting me relaxed and ready for the dunes.
when we arrived at the dunes themselves, the first thing i noticed about it was how...ready it was. it was ready for us. ready for us to zoom around on it. ready for me to get used to riding, and ready to get the others in their groove. on a hill of sand, you could ride up to the top and glimpse the ocean, or you could ride down to the bottom and feel the shade of the trees. i knew that God had made this place. the mere arrangement of it all proved, to me at least, that He wanted us to have a good time. so we rode on the hill for a while. then megan's dad told us that we were all going up to the top. he said that it would be easier riding up there. as megan gained speed up the hill, i panicked. my breath came in short gasps. my brain wasn't working. i was extremely tense. she rode faster, faster up the hill. at the top, there was a barrier of trees, with small, single file roads between them. we went in and we were swallowed into the narrow pathways between the trees. it seemed as though we would be riding through these trees forever. turn left, turn right, we were still in it. it went on forever. but it didn't go on forever. we rode through the trees, making turns often, ducking low branches, and then-
Bam.
we were out on a flat plane, as far as i could see. soft sand rolling on and on. the whole world seemed to be an open savannah, ready for us to play on. and i got this feeling, like...everything's cool. each thought that passed through my mind seemed infinitely okay. wherever i was in life, geographically, emotionally, or in time, it was the perfect place. i didn't want anything to be any different. not with my family life, my age, or anything. everything seemed alright.
i got to drive on the dunes myself, too. i don't know, but there's something about tearing up a huge area of sand that gives you the feeling of unlimited power.
and the beach...now there's a rush. the water licking at your tires, but never quite reaching it...the smooth, wet sand, just waiting for you to break the speed limit and get your heart pounding. and the sun, slowly fading into a pink and orange explosion as it vanished below the horizon. i could almost feel the ocean and the clouds watching me, to see if i fit into this world of revving engines and rushing speed. i think i passed their watchful test.
i think that it was a different person in me that returned from the dunes that night. it was a person who was satisfied. a person who knew more about the good life than she did only a few hours before.
the next time i went out, do you think that i felt the same exhileration? you bet i did. but did i get that same feeling of absolute cool? no, not really. i don't think that i'll ever get that again. but i'll never forget how it felt to be there, not just there physically, but to be THERE. do you get what i'm saying? maybe not. maybe i shouldn't have even said all this. but i wanted it written down somewhere, and so i guess that here is okay.