Forelorn

I finish school very quickly these days. Makes me feel not as bad about starting really late in the mornings. :)

I was thinking last night and talking with Lily about my writing. Writing used to be my lifeblood. I would wake up in the middle of the night and grab a notebook, writing in the dark if I had to, just to get a great idea down on paper. I would transfer whatever was jumbling my feelings into something coherent on paper. Writing was like therapy for me, I guess. But now...it feels like an estranged friend. Someone that you miss because you haven't seen them in forever. Then one day you call them up and say, "Hey, let's get together." But when you sit down with them at the coffee shop, you just keep thinking to yourself, I do not know this person. What happened to our friendship? Is it even possible to bring it back? This is how I feel about my writing. Like I lost my connection to it. Was I lying to myself back when I thought I had potential? Or did I waste it all, and now it's gone forever?

This has come to my mind as lately I have been having different conflicting thoughts. I want to work it all out and be able to look at it objectively in writing. Or maybe, if I'm honest with myself, I'll admit that I just want to romanticize it away and make my own confusion sound noble in a poem. But then there's the conflict. I am trying--well, maybe this branches into territory that would be better kept to myself. Like I said previously, I'm going to dam up the river of complaints to you guys. Sound good to you? It does to me. Kind of.

Do you like Skillet? They are an amazing band. Christian band too! It's sort of rare that I find a Christian band that has talent...not saying that to disparage worship songs, of course! It's just that, in the words of one singer, "Whatever the secular guys were making yesterday, that's what the Christians are making today." It's sadly true. It all sound the same. All sounds like cool-guy posers who want to reconcile their Christian audience to a mainstream audience. That's why I like it when I find a genuinely God-fearing group that just MAKES MUSIC. They just let their love of Christ flow into a beautiful outlet called rock music. Here's one of their songs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1Vo7NOpKoE

The more I think about it, the more I really want to learn to ice skate. Just the gliding along is a great feeling...imagine what it must be like to own the ice with your skates! The combination of speed, grace, and working your butt off is amazing.

Campout 2008

Learning about the glories of heaven.
Drawing close to God.
Drawing close to God's people, my real family.
Lying on the docks, having good conversations.
Eating marshalades and throwing them.
Seeing the Predmores.
Singing to the Lord in the kitchen.
Calling Melinda all kinds of weird names.
Hiking up an easy hike...that practically killed me.
Boating across the lake with amazingly cool people.
Eating my mom's world-famous food.
Helping my mom cook that world-famous food.
Playing "Down by the Banks" and not feeling stupid about it.
Being silly.
Being serious.
Looking at my future with fear and happiness.
Seeing Vengeance Creek.
Trying ping pong and not caring that I FAILED.
Watching a new sport be invented (Ultimate Ping Pong!!!)
Hugging people.
Learning to trust God more than ever.
Watching four precious saints be baptized in the lake.
Crying for joy with them.
Remembering and missing Grandpa Bob.
Laughing at the cheesy and marvelous slideshow.
Counting the times people said, "It's cold out here."
Wearing the dorky life jackets.
Being honest with people who care about me.
Learning new things about myself.
Wondering about other people.
Loving and being loved.

My heart is full and yearns for heaven. But while I'm here, it soars to be with the church family that I love more than words can say. ♥

Next day!

So I hardly ever post the day after my last post. It usually seems like a waste. But here I am anyways.

So last night's dinner with Maribel went pretty well! Between Mommy and Daddy, I think she really got the gospel. I don't think she was really ready to accept it and let it penetrate, but she said she'd read the Bible verses my mom gave her as they left. But what a sweet family they are! Her mom doesn't speak any English, but her sweetness and motherly kindness showed in her face. She said to my dad a few times (translated by Maribel) that he has a very beautiful family. :) That was nice of her. Maribel also has a son named Kevin. He's eight and pretty sharp! He holds his own in a conversation pretty well (although he frequently inserts comments about Legos and Spongebob).

But guess what: Maribel thought I was 13. You all know how much that kind of thing bothers me. But hey; I've decided to not let that bug me so much. What I need to realize is this: whenever I hate the way I look, obsess over looking older, or compare myself to pretty girls, I'm basically pointing my finger at God and saying, "You didn't make me right! Why can't I be beautiful?" That is just pure sin and selfishness. So call me on it if I ever complain about that again.

I saw Megan's freshly painted room today. Very cool! It's chocolately brown and stuff. So Michelle and I chilled over there all day. We went to Macy's and guess what: Tyler was working! So we talked to him for a little on his break. I also tried a new eyeshadow at the makeup counters (yes boring to hear about). But it was really really REALLY bright blue. Kind of cool and weird.

So then the Nodurfts picked me up back at Megan's house and drove me to my house; they were coming out here anyways to have dinner with us. Daddy grilled steak. Nicey-nice! (I think people think I'm a total dork when I say that, but whatever)

And now the Nodurfts have gone home and I'm posting here at 10:45 posting. Anything else I need to talk about...hmmmm...don't think so. I think tomorrow will be uneventful. Oh, I almost forgot! I checked the bowling alley fees and there's a discount if we go between 3:00-6:00 on a weekday. So I'm thinking Monday or Tuesday? Gimme feedback.

I think I use a lot of run-on sentences and fragments in my blog posts. Never was a grammar fiend. :P

Aaaahhhh...Peace and Quiet

After two weeks of rubbing a cheese grater on my nerves, my cousin has gone back home. I did enjoy having him here, but two weeks is a long time. He kept saying stupid stuff like, "I am chocolate!" or "Good job," and patting me on the arm. I probably embarrassed him because I started shrugging him off and twitching away when he would pat my shoulder or whatever. It was just a little too much!

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Mommy's painting the family room. Shhhhhh it's a surprise for my dad! It actually looks really great; nice tan color with a little brown glow. And we're getting a bunch of bookshelves for our library. That I am REALLY excited about. Imagine: a whole wall, crammed with all kinds of books imaginable! You probably can't guess how important that is to me.
I have five books to read by the end of summer. That's not including the six I already read. I hope I get it all done! Maybe I'll finish really early and be able to cram in another one. Books are from heaven.

No title coming to mind

So Michelle spent the night after the party on the 4th. *sniff* They're going to Colorado for a couple weeks, so it'll be the last one for a while. I don't like it when friends leave, even for such a short time. Makes me depressed.

Anyway. After church, I went with Megan and her family to a park type thing. We were going to swim the creek, but it was c-c-cold! So we sat around the fire and ate Polish sausage. Quite a good backup plan. Her grandparents told us that marshmallows have pig fat in them! That is so weird and pretty GROSS.
I'm listening to a playlist I made called "Delightfully Cheesy Songs." It's so marvelous! It has stuff like Barry Manilow, N*SYNC, Styx, even Carman! hehe very very cheesy stuff. Right now it's playing Strange Magic by Electric Light Orchestra.

Ok, talk to you great people later.

Weekend makes for very good times

So this weekend I had fun. On Saturday, we went to Blue Moon for breakfast with Aunt Lori, Mrs. Parks, and Michelle. Michelle and I completely BORED Lily to tears with talk about lots of girly stuff.
After a lovely breakfast of salsa omelette and hash browns, we stole Michelle and went to a camping/hanging out...sort of place for the afternoon. The Loynes' were there, but Megan was working so basically it was me and Bichelle with much more mah-velous GIRL talk. Lots and lots. We also waded in the creek and I found a heart-shaped rock! It's in my room now. Not sure what I'll do with it yet.
So when it was time to take Michelle home, we finagled to let me spend the night at her house, which is ALWAYS so much fun!!! We went over to their friends' house for a barbecue. I had a blast because the two little kids there have tons of wicked awesome Star Wars stuff. They actually had a classic Lando action figure with his original Jabba's palace helmet! So basically the evening was Parker and Noah (the two kids) showing me all their cool Star Wars stuff, while Michelle and Jordan made fun of me and called me a geek. Good times...
So Marinda brought her car, and she took Shelly and I to Hollywood Video. We rented a movie and Michelle bought four.
Then we went back to her house and watched Much Ado about Nothing, my favorite Shakespeare play! Michelle and Jordan went downstairs and watched The Pink Panther...I guess they can't handle Benedick's witty contemplations or Hero's tragic misfortune. But I loooooved it!!! Beatrice is my favorite character, and it's a rare thing when my favorite person in a movie is a girl.
So the next day was church obviously. Yeah and we did Communion cooking too. Not much to report there, except that I think we did it in record time! We even had time to rush over to Macy's and try on some crazy cool outfits! It was really fun, my girlfriends are so purty-ful in fancy dresses. (I looked rather out of place in a formal gown, lol)
Sooooo then there was Communion, a beautiful time of course. Except for Megan's "soft feet" comment! haha!
Robyn's coming over for lunch, so I gots to get working on that. Oh geez she'll be here in half an hour. Crap I'm gonna be so rushed!!!! Gotta go!

The Phantom of the Opera

I've been completely GORGING myself on the movie version of The Phantom of the Opera. I watched it Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and I loved it each time! The music, which I'd of course heard before, still was effective and incredibly moving. The atmosphere of gothic beauty and eeriness was so gorgeously sensual!
Of course, my favorite part of the movie was the Phantom himself (his name is Erik, but the movie just names him as The Phantom). It really struck me that every time he sang to Christine, she went under this complete spell of attraction, even when she was terrified of him. I suppose I can identify with that...♥ The anger in his voice that was almost permanent was electrifying!
The other characters were a mixed bag. Christine Daae was beautiful and vulnerable and everything she should be. Her blend of youth and womanliness was lovely, and her voice--incredible! I could hardly believe that Emmy Rossum (the girl who plays her) was only 18 years old in this role!
Raoul, on the other hand, well...I wasn't so into him. There was something unmistakably feminine about that ridiculous haircut, and it bothered me intensely that he was so skeptical about the very existence of the Phantom. He seemed to automatically assume that Christine was a fanciful child who believed in fairytales--and yet she was so quick to fall in love with the "insolent boy, this slave of fashion"! But in the end, I suppose I must support his unfailing goodness. But what can I say; I'm a girl who loves the bad boys.
The entire movie was a feast, plain and simple. I can't recommend it to men, in that there is an excessive amount of low-cut dresses. But it's a chick flick anyways, so, girls, indulge yourselves in the music of the night.

Next Movie to See

I know everyone has seen these, but JUST IN CASE...
Watch The Lord of the Rings. They are quite possibly the masterworks of film creations. Of course, due to their length, you'll want to make time and plan ahead. Don't just cut it off in the middle, it totally ruins it (unless you've already seen them, and in that case, why are you reading this?)
I don't even need to describe them here. You just watch/rent/BUY them. You'll thank me later.

Not supposed to be here...hehe

I'm seriously supposed to be in school right now...but I'll just make this post first.

So, uh, here I am, same kid as always. Everything is the same. Robbie comes and goes, Michelle is in deep trouble, Bryan needs some serious butt-kicking but he'll never get it, Megan is my bff, and family is nice I guess. I pretty much stand back and watch other people go through life and all that crap.

The district church conference was great great great!!! Pastor Ray preached a beautiful sermon on prayer from Psalm 119, and I teared up at one point. There was sumo wrestling (you know, where people dress up in those huge vinyl costumes and smash each other), which was HILARIOUS. There was a nice big inflatable slide that I loved! There was food but I didn't eat very much. I met two people, one of them from Canada! She was cool.

Ummmm, let's see, what's interesting. OMG I AM HAVING SERIOUS STAR WARS CRAVINGS. Not even kidding here, I was getting ready for school this morning and I just all of a sudden started wanting to see some serious Hoth battles or something. Yeaaah, Hoth sounds really good right now. *whimper*

I saw Ocean's 13. OH MY GOSH. George Clooney is...is...well he's just the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life. There's a scene where Rusty and Danny are watching Oprah...you gotta see it, it's the sweetest thing ever.

I really should go back to school...

Hey guess what I found in our coat closet?!? On the top shelf...hidden away...I found my old purple newsboy cap and my Happy Bunny sweatshirt!!! I had a good laugh over that one. (for anybody who doesn't know, my parents took away my hat about 5 years ago. I always assumed they got rid of it, but it's been in the closet the whole time! Same story with the sweater about 3 or four years ago.) So I stuck my infamous gray dress up there, and sometime I'm going to wear them all at once and completely scare my dad. Probably on my 18th birthday when he publishes the princess picture...

Next movie everyone HAS to see: Life is Beautiful. Just make sure you get it with English dubbing (unless you know Italian). It's a really great movie that I know you will love.

Watch this Movie

Yes, yes, I know that my last post was about a movie. But you know me, I love 'em.
So I've been compiling a list of movies I think everyone should watch. They're almost all clean, because I don't watch raunchy stuff. Soooo here's the first one. I want everyone reading this to go out and rent...

The Lion King.

A kids movie? Yes. A cartoon? Yes! A classic Disney film that completely captures the essence of what we want from an all-ages film? Yes, yes, yes! If you've never seen it, don't knock it till you watch it. The songs are beautiful (written by Tim Rice and Elton John), the story is compelling, the animation is expressive, and the characters are sublime.

If I remember, I shall post a new movie next week.

The Thief and the Cobbler

Allow me to tell you a story I found intriguing, beautiful, and happily-ever-after all the way.

Once upon a time, there was a marvelous man named Richard Williams. He had much prestige from all around the world for his work in animation. Richard Williams had a dream.

He had a dream to direct, right, and animate the greatest animated film in the history of mankind! It was to be magical, beautiful, eyepopping and grand. Taken from old tales in the Arabian lore, it was a tale of young Tack, the poor cobbler, and the nameless thief, who together but quite separately saved The Golden Kingdom.

So, Richard Williams began his work in 1964. For 26 years he worked and let it lie dormant, unknown to the world. Then, in 1990, Richard's dreams began to come true. He signed a deal with Warner Brothers for his film to be distributed!

Alas, such a perfect situation was not to be. He couldn't finish the film on time, and Warner Brothers removed him from production and put it in the hands of a less able person, Fred Calvert. Fred attempted to fill in the gaps and the movie was officially released in 1991.

Horrifically, the film had been butchered. Much of the beauty and feeling was gone, replaced by cheap jokes and dialogue appreciated only by children. The movie was met with unsurprisingly little success, and was all but forgotten in subsequent years.

But the story does not end with this tragic turn. Fans and those who knew Richard's true intent for the film resolved to restore, as much as possible, The Thief and the Cobbler to its original and incredible state. The internet gathered movie buffs and collectors who submitted their rare footage of the original movie to one project. It included everything from complete movie sequences to simply storyboards that never even had a chance to be animated.

After much work and time, the movie was complete. Released on the net for all to see it the way it was meant, there was rejoicing in the streets! Well, not exactly...most of the world had never even been introduced to this masterwork of Richard Williams's.

I saw the released version as a child. I was satisfied with it, not knowing or caring that it was simply a mangled version of what it should be. Today I watched the REAL Thief and the Cobbler on Google Video. My eyes practically popped out of my head at the beautiful animation and tender characters. For anyone who watches it, pay careful attention to the checkered halls in the castle. It's a delicious illusion just to watch it. And the climax of the movie is very near the end, with the One Eye army's hellish war machine. Scary as anything you'll ever see, and yet terribly beautiful in its own right. I beg you not to miss this treat.

Let it be known that this movie is out there! I've included the link to the full film. Although sometimes the storyboard parts rob from the mood, you'll get used to it. If you've ever seen the officially released version, you MUST see this one. Don't miss it.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2263043366719734101