Crying
by Emily

Life is but a dream, a dream
That passes in and out
Through waves of whisper and of scream
In its ship is tossed about.

Life is but to sleep, to sleep
And hope to one day wake
From never-ending wail and weep
Watching for dawn to break.

And in one one moment of blissful sun
Our Creator shines His grace
On me, a wretched, selfish one
And clouds flee from my face.

Life is sweet, o precious sweet
Each moment alive and strong
I feel my thrilling heart to beat
To the notes of my Maker's song.

Today my cousin is having a baby shower at my house. Did I already tell you guys that? But it's gonna be fun. I think. I actually don't see her very often...last time was when her sister had a baby shower (which was also at my house!) two years ago. But I have some good memories of her from when I was little. Like on that one Christmas when she braided my hair and curled my bangs...I hated it so much that she had to carry me out of the bathroom over her shoulder! lol...good times.

Right now there's this cool music playing on Rhapsody. It incorporates the sounds of the ocean with the harp and stuff. It's making me sleepy...sorry this was such a short post, but I have to do my chores now. Maybe I'll post again later today.

*Edit*
The baby shower was so much fun! I (sort of) won one of the games, because it was this game where you put a notebook on top of your head and try to draw a baby. I got prize for funniest, because...well, it had a face on its face...and on its belly. It had 5 limbs, and I don't know how that happened! But it was really hilarious. My cousin Ginger, who's a really amazing chef, made all this exotic food. There were
grape leaves stuffed with hamburger
tons of cheese (two of which I didn't know the name of)
marinated artichoke bottoms
a cool pasta that looked like rice
garlic mushroom in quarters
and iced tea.
Talk about trying new things!

One of my friends wants to organize a trip to the mall with just this core group of us, who've been hanging out for years and years. That sounds really fun, but it would leave out 3 of my best friends! It might hurt their feelings, and I would be bummed not having them there. So that kinda puts me in a pickle. One one hand, I feel like I should suggest that they be invited. On another hand, I feel like that would be defeating the purpose of this core group thing we're planning. We haven't hung out, just us, for like a year. So what should I do? The guy organizing the mall trip wants to reconnect since he hasn't talked much to us lately, and I don't want to ruin that. But how can I just go someplace with friends if it doesn't include Robbie, Jordan, and Michelle? I would feel terrible!

Okay, Everybody Loves Raymond is on. I'm gonna go watch it!

Hola, I think I went too long with out posting this time, sorry. I'm getting ready for my totally huge birthday party next week! 20 teenagers are invited total, and we're gonna have a blast! I wrote on the invitations that I don't want any presents, but Charlie and Jordan are like, "Come on, we're not showing up without a present!" So whatever.

Other than that, not much has been going on besides the normal schedule. Oh, oh, here's some good news, but it won't mean anything to anybody besides Danna. Ethan (a different Ethan, he goes to my church) has been drifting away and not really hanging out with our group at church, but last Sunday, he decided that he's going to start chilling with us more and not just leaving as soon as service is over! It's cool.

I want another pair of Chuck Taylors. Two is not nearly enough. And I want a pair with crazy art and stuff on the sides, that would be wicked awesome. Gosh I love my Chuck Taylors! Teehee, is that plagiarism?

I hate quitting something that I've been working on for a long time. But my novel is going NOWHERE!!! I sit down and start working at it, and the plot starts going in circles and it totally drags on and on. But I don't want to give up on it, because I already did that with piano, and I don't want to get into the habit of quitting when the going gets tough.

I have no idea why I'm posting today. There's nothing to say. Maybe I'll score something better next time.

Wow, I feel...loved! Finally, somebody appreciates the beautiful flow of my writing...JK JK JK I'm not gonna get pompous! But it is kinda cool that you like it...thanks.

We are getting TONS of snow here! This is the most snow we've gotten since I was...well, longer than I can remember! I built a mermaid in my backyard outta snow, but it doesn't have any arms. Strange, I know. Only downside to all this beautiful snow is that Wednesday Night Bible Study was canceled tonight. Rats. But you're not going to believe this: in the middle of January, in 40 degree weather (at least that's what the forecast says) I'm going to a pool party!!! Yeah, it's gonna be quite the adventure. But what the hey, anything to hang with pallys.

My poor sissy is sick today...and so is Beth, I hear! Get well soon!!!! I'm fit as a fiddle, proud to say! Uh-oh...maybe I shouldn't have said that. Last time I said that to a sick friend, I caught a bug the next day! "Pride goes before a fall." Somewhere in Proverbs, right?

I have another poem I wrote that I want to post on here, but I figured I'd give you guys a break so you won't get tired of it. And this one isn't as good anyways, so yeah. But when I do post it, I want you to be completely honest, okay? Okay. It'll be a lot easier to criticize it when you're over the net anyway, instead of face-to-face.

I'm thinking that the quiz rally will be canceled...that's sad. I'm not really too upset that we won't get to spend the night there, or do the quizzing itself...I'm not even heartbroken that I won't get to see Fishy (although that part kinda bums me a little); it's the car ride up and back that I'll miss! Sitting in a van, bouncing along the roads, squashed between friends for 4 hours...nothing like it, I tell you! Then we spend the night on the floor of the church and get up early in the morning (after about 6 hours of of sleep), eat some breakfast, and head back for another 4 hours stuck in the van. Those are some of the best times of my life...no joke, I love it!

So that's about it for today's ramblings. Now you ramble!

So life has been a bit...different lately, as you probably would've guessed. But it's not been as difficult for the past few days, now that Pastor's been teaching on this in GBI. He clears it up pretty good. Er, pretty well. Whatever, I've had enough good grammar for today. Today in English class, it was all about not using slang or whatever. I'm just laughing inside, because there's no way I'm going to start saying "Just relax" instead of "Chill!" It just wouldn't be me.

So what's the deal with this whole Master's thing that Beth's going to? Master's College? Something about swing-dancing? I'm totally lost (but what else is new, right?). Is she taking yet another "hiatus" or something? Slackin' off, I tell ya! jk!

I've gotten back into listening to KJ-52. I haven't heard his stuff for so long, I'd almost forgotten the words to Fivetweezy! Good stuff. I've also been getting into U2. Man, now that's music! And I just think the name Bono is cool. ;)


So now I'm reading Frankenstein, just like Beth recommended. I love it! I haven't even gotten to the part with his monster yet, but the writing style is phenomenal! I was going to get Dracula, but my mom totally freaked and was like, "Oh, my word! Why would you want to read horror, Emily? That worries me!" Maybe she's right, I don't know...but I have tons of other stuff I can read, so it's no biggie. You're not going to believe this, but...I still haven't finished Emma. Remember when I told you that I started it, like, two or three months ago? I'm not even halfway through yet! Well, let's just say that with all the millions of books in the world, I have a lot that I'd rather read than Jane Austen. And I've seen the movie, so I know the story anyway.

Since the poem I put on here last post was really crappy, here's one that I wrote a while ago that I think is better:

America's One Lack
by Emily

It is a great and beautiful land
With freedom for one and all
But with all of it, so strong and grand
Why do I feel so small?

The stories of our war for freedom
The wonderful tales of old
All of this should warm my heart
Then why am I so cold?

If America is a tapestry
And I am a single thread
A woven field, teeming with life
Then why am I so dead?

America can make the spirits soar
It can make the heart feel whole
But with all of its healing power
It cannot heal the soul.

Hi. I really don't feel like talking to you people today. But it'll be good for me.

Danna, Lothlorien is still alive and well in the comment box. It's in the exact same web address as it was before, but she doesn't often post new stuff. If you want to come on over and talk, I don't think she'd mind, would you, Beth?

Tonight I discovered the very sharp, very real pain of heartbreak. Sitting in your living room while your very loving pastor explains truths (that are very hard to take) to you...I didn't want to believe him at first. Now I realize that he's totally on track with God's plan, but conviction and repentance of certain things is hard. HARD. I don't really feel comfortable at this time to tell what happened exactly, but please pray for me, for my family, and for Robbie. I've never needed it more (well, not since I got saved).

Well, the next few days will be...bleak.

I seriously had the best New Year's Eve of my life on Monday. We played mailroom, and I found out some HUGE things I didn't know before. Some that require a lot of thinking and praying. Don't get me wrong, they were all GOOD things! But just...major decision-type stuff. Robbie's not going to church tomorrow...idk why. But he said he'll try to make it on Friday...I hope I can go! (not just to see Robbie, that's not the point of Friday evangelism!)
But anyway, back to New Year's Eve. When the clock struck midnight, we all ran out into the street and screamed! There was this weird guy (probably drunk) walking around, and he's like "Yeah, totally fer sure! Happy New Year!" And he started hugging people! Freaky!!! After he walked off, Charlie and Jordan were like, "So who was that?" and I'm like "No idea!" and they're like "We thought you knew him!!!" It was pretty funny.
I have a cough and the sniffles...*COUGH COUGH* Don't you feel bad for me? Hey, Danna brought up an important point at Monday's party, and it has something to do with you, Ethan! She was wondering why both you and her always comment on here, but you never talk to each other? It's like, perpetual cold shoulder. Maybe I should officially introduce you?

Danna, this is Ethan. He's a farmer. He lives in...where do you live again?
Ethan, this is Danna. She goes to my church. She lives in *CENSORED FOR PRIVACY*

So now say hello, for Pete's sake!!!!